Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Microsoft Vista - The next generation bloatware
By now, you should all have realized that Microsoft has released it latest operating system "Vista". Orginally codenamed "CE-ME-NT". This latest version promises to deliver more decreased productivity then ever before. An operating system so overblow they've chopped it up into 6 different versions, none of which actually work. At least not until you've spend hundreds of dollars on upgrades to your system to make it run (somewhat) The popular new feature is the arrow cursor, that lets you flow through blue screens, red screens, endless pop-ups ad permission questions all in eye-popping 3D ! Just like in previous versions, Every copy of Vista is covered by Microsoft's Gold Standard - Sinkhole of support. Is it any wonder we ask "Where are we going today?"
Friday, June 13, 2008
Funny Newspaper Headlines
If you've ever been up late at night, you've probably seen Jay Leno's headlines. If not here's a quick preview. Nice for a good Friday Laugh ! BTW - It was a bit hard trying to find a Leno video so I don't know if the video at the link below will continue to work. NBC seems to be taking them down from various sites along the web. So watch it while it lasts !
Funny Newspaper Headlines
When my first daughter was born, we did not get a lot of sleep at night, we found we were often up at 2 and 3am in the morning. I've probably seen more of the Tonight Show then any other time in my life
Here's a few more:
The Funny Pages - Newspaper Headlines
Headline Humor
Armenian Teens Newspaper Humor
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Understanding Movie Prices
If you're like me.. [besides being a bit crazy]..you would be growing more and more annoyed at the advertisements being played in movie theatres !! Haven't seen them yet? If not please let me know, where you live, so I can start going to your movie theatre :-)
After paying $10.00 for the movie, plus $15.00 for concessions, then sitting through 30 minutes of adveritsing, finally I get to watch my movie. What's up with that?
A friend of mine used to be an assistant manager fojr a local cinema. He tells me the "secret" told to staff is that "We are not in the movie business, we are in the concession business"
Making a movie is possibly one of the best examples of teamwork/quality that can ever be accomplished. All in a fairly short timeframe, the movie maker has to get the people, get the funding making the movie, edit it, sell it to movie theatres and hope it is a sucess to pay back the people who funded it !
The initial costs for making a moving (which are in the millions of dollars) are put up by one or more investors who believe in the movie's eventual success
In a similar manner to book sales, movies pass through a specific set of stages [the "distribution" channel]
Once the movie is made, it is normally first released to theaters. 99% of the money that a movie cinema earns when a movie is first released goes back to the movie company. So when you here
the weekend box office sales (99 million dollars). This money all goes back to the movie no to the cinema.
As time passes, the %age of share that the cinema makes increases, however, normally the number of people showing up to watch the movie decreases. So the cinema has to walk a careful line between making profit of the movie and boring customers who have already seen the movie and want something else [new] to watch.
This distribution chain moves on to hotels, pay per view, video (DVD), and eventually even TV. At each point less and less money goes back to the film makers themseles. [So in theory at least, when you pirate a DVD you are robbing the distribution companies more then the film-makers themselves]
When I was younger, we used to smuggle food into the cinama. Chips/popcorn and pop because the prices at the concession stand were so expensive. It used to be that cinemas would not let you take food into the cinema and would take it from you if caught. They don't seem to care as much these days.
So advertising before your movie is a way for the cinema to make extra money. Did you know those coming attactions are advertisments? These have been going on for years, and I don't really mind them. It's the ads for cars, and similar producs that tend to drive me crazy. Is the cinema industry really that much in danger that they need to run these ads?
Oh well, I don't remember the last time I went to a movie in a cinema so what am I complaining about anyay :)
After paying $10.00 for the movie, plus $15.00 for concessions, then sitting through 30 minutes of adveritsing, finally I get to watch my movie. What's up with that?
A friend of mine used to be an assistant manager fojr a local cinema. He tells me the "secret" told to staff is that "We are not in the movie business, we are in the concession business"
Making a movie is possibly one of the best examples of teamwork/quality that can ever be accomplished. All in a fairly short timeframe, the movie maker has to get the people, get the funding making the movie, edit it, sell it to movie theatres and hope it is a sucess to pay back the people who funded it !
The initial costs for making a moving (which are in the millions of dollars) are put up by one or more investors who believe in the movie's eventual success
In a similar manner to book sales, movies pass through a specific set of stages [the "distribution" channel]
Once the movie is made, it is normally first released to theaters. 99% of the money that a movie cinema earns when a movie is first released goes back to the movie company. So when you here
the weekend box office sales (99 million dollars). This money all goes back to the movie no to the cinema.
As time passes, the %age of share that the cinema makes increases, however, normally the number of people showing up to watch the movie decreases. So the cinema has to walk a careful line between making profit of the movie and boring customers who have already seen the movie and want something else [new] to watch.
This distribution chain moves on to hotels, pay per view, video (DVD), and eventually even TV. At each point less and less money goes back to the film makers themseles. [So in theory at least, when you pirate a DVD you are robbing the distribution companies more then the film-makers themselves]
When I was younger, we used to smuggle food into the cinama. Chips/popcorn and pop because the prices at the concession stand were so expensive. It used to be that cinemas would not let you take food into the cinema and would take it from you if caught. They don't seem to care as much these days.
So advertising before your movie is a way for the cinema to make extra money. Did you know those coming attactions are advertisments? These have been going on for years, and I don't really mind them. It's the ads for cars, and similar producs that tend to drive me crazy. Is the cinema industry really that much in danger that they need to run these ads?
Oh well, I don't remember the last time I went to a movie in a cinema so what am I complaining about anyay :)
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Jobs that sound cool, but at a second glance?
Ever have one of those days, where you sit down and wonder, what a day working in someone else's job might be like? It's not that I don't like my job..trust me I do, but there are just some jobs that have a certain...call it romantic?..view to them.
Building Demolisher
You get to blow up (actually implode) buldings, or maybe you just crush them with one of those big ball crushing things (too technical?). As a kid I loved taking things apart, what could be more fun right?
Of course, this actually takes a lot of training, and knowledge. You are responsible for the safety of others, for ensuring the charges are set correctly, and just before you press that button can you really be 100% sure nothing will go wrong?
Car Crusher
Somewhat similar to the buliding demolisher, you get to put the cars in the machine that crushes them into those little cube like pieces of metal. I suppose someone could be stuck in the truck, but for the most part you don't have the liability of the demolisher
Though, in the end, this might be a "one time enjoyment". I'm sure crusing the first few 10, 15, 20, 50 ? cars might be exiting and cool. But after a while, I imagine it gets a little boring. Plus I don't think this job is full-time car crushing. You probably do other things as well.
Private Investigator
A film-noir favorite. You have your stuffy little office, smoke fills the room, and in walks the pretty but desperate women. She thinks someone is trying to kill her (perhaps it's her cheating husband?), and no one else can help her..she pleades with you to take her case. You are her last resort..her hero..What can you do?
In reality, of course, very few (if any cases) are like this. Of course, you could specialize in finding out cheating husbands, but who does this really help in the end? Plus, unless you are super popular or well respected, getting clients can be very hard. The job may not be as dangerous as a secret agent, but do you really want to risk your life to earn a little dough?
Secret Agent
This one is, by far, my favorite. If I ever went dillisional, this would be my dillusion. I am a special investigator, CIA, FBI, one of those, but undercover. Trying to save the world from the hidden evils that are not made available to the public. Trusted with secret information, and ensuring that information only gets to the right people at the right time. Having special gadgets and travelling to exoctic destinations. Being a real 'super hero' in a modern world.
Most secret agents, are not really secret, and even fewer are assigned undercover duties. Although there have been some really cool espionage tools out there (See here: http://www.pbs.org/wnet/innovation/experts_qa3.html) , I've seen nowhere near the gadgets of 007.
Librarian
I love books, and I love reading, so spending my time surrounded by books and others who are interested in books, can kind of seem like a dream job. Plus with all the automation out there, returning, organizing, and classifying books, isn't all that complicated.
You do have to be a people person, and it helps if you can bring a 'perky' attitude. Plus libraries are not really paid all that well for the job they offer. Plus you also have to be a bit of a 'sales person'. Especially new people to the library, to keep them coming back, to share your love of books with others in a non-intrusive sort of way. For example, at the library where I visit each Wednesday evening, my daughter goes to the "Library Pyjama reading group". The librarian reads books, does crafts with the kids. It's great fun, but it takes a lot of work, and staying happy and perky all the time..can't be easy !
Teacher
..Just think about it, you get weekends off, more holidays then the typical worker, a break around march, and the summers off as well. Sounds like a dream job right?
Teachers are probably, one of the lowest paid professions for what they do. I have two kids, which I love to death, but sometimes they can be a handfull. If you have kids maybe you can relate. Now multiply that by 30 students in one class 5-8 hours a day. It makes me find it funny we have a phrase in our language called "Going Postal", it should be called "Going Teacher". It is amazing that more teachers don't go crazy. Don't you remember being a student? Remember what the hard time the class gives teachers..especially substitutes ?
And are you kids involved in after school activites/sports? In most most situations, teachers volenteer their time for these activites. They have to find it within themselves, after spending hours on end with your kids, to pull themselves together and help teach them other activities, such as socker, or football, or baseball. Plus, how often have you thanked your child teacher for all the work they do?.
Finally, on the "summers off". My experience is, teachers don't really get 'paid' for the summer off. What happens is, each pay, a portion is deducted, so that when the summer rolls around, that portion is distributed over that time frame. So they take even less pay for 10 months of the year so that they can be paid for the 2 months that are somewhat 'kid free'. Assuming they are not teaching summer school, or continuing after-school sports teams, etc.
So, not all jobs maybe as pretty in reality as are dreamt of in your minds. Of course, when I was a kid, a though I could be a Private Invesigator, a scienctist, and a fireman, all at the same time. :-)
Building Demolisher
You get to blow up (actually implode) buldings, or maybe you just crush them with one of those big ball crushing things (too technical?). As a kid I loved taking things apart, what could be more fun right?
Of course, this actually takes a lot of training, and knowledge. You are responsible for the safety of others, for ensuring the charges are set correctly, and just before you press that button can you really be 100% sure nothing will go wrong?
Car Crusher
Somewhat similar to the buliding demolisher, you get to put the cars in the machine that crushes them into those little cube like pieces of metal. I suppose someone could be stuck in the truck, but for the most part you don't have the liability of the demolisher
Though, in the end, this might be a "one time enjoyment". I'm sure crusing the first few 10, 15, 20, 50 ? cars might be exiting and cool. But after a while, I imagine it gets a little boring. Plus I don't think this job is full-time car crushing. You probably do other things as well.
Private Investigator
A film-noir favorite. You have your stuffy little office, smoke fills the room, and in walks the pretty but desperate women. She thinks someone is trying to kill her (perhaps it's her cheating husband?), and no one else can help her..she pleades with you to take her case. You are her last resort..her hero..What can you do?
In reality, of course, very few (if any cases) are like this. Of course, you could specialize in finding out cheating husbands, but who does this really help in the end? Plus, unless you are super popular or well respected, getting clients can be very hard. The job may not be as dangerous as a secret agent, but do you really want to risk your life to earn a little dough?
Secret Agent
This one is, by far, my favorite. If I ever went dillisional, this would be my dillusion. I am a special investigator, CIA, FBI, one of those, but undercover. Trying to save the world from the hidden evils that are not made available to the public. Trusted with secret information, and ensuring that information only gets to the right people at the right time. Having special gadgets and travelling to exoctic destinations. Being a real 'super hero' in a modern world.
Most secret agents, are not really secret, and even fewer are assigned undercover duties. Although there have been some really cool espionage tools out there (See here: http://www.pbs.org/wnet/innovation/experts_qa3.html) , I've seen nowhere near the gadgets of 007.
Librarian
I love books, and I love reading, so spending my time surrounded by books and others who are interested in books, can kind of seem like a dream job. Plus with all the automation out there, returning, organizing, and classifying books, isn't all that complicated.
You do have to be a people person, and it helps if you can bring a 'perky' attitude. Plus libraries are not really paid all that well for the job they offer. Plus you also have to be a bit of a 'sales person'. Especially new people to the library, to keep them coming back, to share your love of books with others in a non-intrusive sort of way. For example, at the library where I visit each Wednesday evening, my daughter goes to the "Library Pyjama reading group". The librarian reads books, does crafts with the kids. It's great fun, but it takes a lot of work, and staying happy and perky all the time..can't be easy !
Teacher
..Just think about it, you get weekends off, more holidays then the typical worker, a break around march, and the summers off as well. Sounds like a dream job right?
Teachers are probably, one of the lowest paid professions for what they do. I have two kids, which I love to death, but sometimes they can be a handfull. If you have kids maybe you can relate. Now multiply that by 30 students in one class 5-8 hours a day. It makes me find it funny we have a phrase in our language called "Going Postal", it should be called "Going Teacher". It is amazing that more teachers don't go crazy. Don't you remember being a student? Remember what the hard time the class gives teachers..especially substitutes ?
And are you kids involved in after school activites/sports? In most most situations, teachers volenteer their time for these activites. They have to find it within themselves, after spending hours on end with your kids, to pull themselves together and help teach them other activities, such as socker, or football, or baseball. Plus, how often have you thanked your child teacher for all the work they do?.
Finally, on the "summers off". My experience is, teachers don't really get 'paid' for the summer off. What happens is, each pay, a portion is deducted, so that when the summer rolls around, that portion is distributed over that time frame. So they take even less pay for 10 months of the year so that they can be paid for the 2 months that are somewhat 'kid free'. Assuming they are not teaching summer school, or continuing after-school sports teams, etc.
So, not all jobs maybe as pretty in reality as are dreamt of in your minds. Of course, when I was a kid, a though I could be a Private Invesigator, a scienctist, and a fireman, all at the same time. :-)
Monday, May 26, 2008
I gotta be me !
Live life being the person you are, not the person you think you should be !
You don't have to be funny, smart, good natured, intelligent, good looking, a rock star, and you certainly don't have to try to be something you are not.
Take this moement to think about who you are (yeah this moment right NOW, your obviously not doing anything else important )
If you find yourself constantly trying to change to be "better", TELL, yourself, "there's nothing wrong with me I'm great !"
Self Improvement is fine... if your a serial killer and your trying to kick the habit, or maybe you want to give up smoking or drugs. But please don't loose the things that make you who you are
Always take the time to re-connect with yourself, your values, your hidden qualities, shout them out or write them in your diary.
And finally remember...no one on their death bed sighs and says "I wish I had spent more time at the office"
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Funny Out-Of-Office E-Mail Auto-Reply
Out of Office auto-replies can be great when you are on vacation, and you want to let others know you won't be checking your email.
Here 10 great Out of Office autoreplies you should consider the next time you are heading out on vacation (If you have the guts that is)
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
Here 10 great Out of Office autoreplies you should consider the next time you are heading out on vacation (If you have the guts that is)
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
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