Sunday, December 23, 2007
Control the world in 4 easy steps
So here it is, my how to on how to take over the world in 4 easy steps.
1) Form a religion -> Whether God exists or not, Religion exists (and has existed) for a long time as a means of social control. Start a religion that promotes itself as the "one true religion" that takes elements from existing religions and that can appeal to others. For bonus credits, claim yourself as a prophet, and tell others God speaks to you and you can promise them true salvation (don't forget to have them donate all their earthly belongings to you). You might think this only happens in a few cults. Thinking about the religion your follow. Who are the leaders, and what power do you give to them?
2) Be a banker -> Well maybe not a banker as much as a large international bank owner. If you control a nations money, the nation is in debt to you. Those that are in your debt are essentially your slaves. Nations borrow money from international banks at large interest and collect debt they can't possibility pay back and thereby can be persuaded to do almost anything to square the deal.
3) Control the media/internet -> As a child I was taught not to believe everything I see (or hear or read). Most people have not learned this lesson. They take for truth the news the hear, the gossip they hear and just about every reporter and media outlet touting some story to increase ratings.
4) Start a War that can't be won -> and get the people involved to destroy one another, all the long fund both sides of the war and use terror tactics to keep the people in line while spouting propaganda that the reduction of there personal rights and freedoms is "for their own good"
That's all you need to do, if you can harness these four items, you can control any society group you desire..perhaps even the entire world.
When you really start thinking of it, this movie simply comes out to say what other movies and films have been hinting at for years. Consider the Matrix (Red Pill / Blue Pill), and others. Writers often try to get some message out to you in their work, often in some subtle way. It is up to each of us to wade through the mass information we are exposed to each day and figure out what is real, and what isn't. If we submit to the masses we may end up being slaves to our own apathy.
Our only defense is our own thoughts, our ability to educate ourselves on what is real and what is not, and to pass the information to others. From the time we are children which must work to develop leaders, people who think for themselves and make decisions based on facts. We must understand that we all work together to form a bigger piece of the puzzle, we are not individuals pursuing our own agenda. We must work together to pursue a common agenda, one that is not directed by the few or the one.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Weather personalities all mixed up in Atlantic Canada
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Time machine JC Penny 1977
Monday, December 3, 2007
Fun With Psychology
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
BlendTech makes the holiday easier
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Getting even with a telemarketer
Today, I don't get many wrong numbers but I must get at least 10-20 telemarketer calls each day. It can sometimes be quite annoying. However, when I spotted this video it made me laugh, this wil teach them to stop messing with people.Read More... http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/638
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Funny Customs from the 1500s
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
God Named in Lawsuit
Probably the best part is that God actually responded to the lawsuit. Among his response is that Nebraska does not have sufficient jurisitiction for the lawsuit, and therefore the defendant is imune. It also states that the lawsuit fails to account for the gift of free will that God has given man. Aparantly, the archangel St Michael has been listed as a witness ! Read More... http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/629
Friday, November 9, 2007
Why are so many people pregnant?
I talk about some of these things in this weeks short audio podlet. Hope you enjoy it.
Oh and i still can't remember the word something like "perceptual set" or something..when you notice things more about then you've noticed before due to different things going on in your life, If you can think of it please drop me a comment.
Jokes provided by JimmyFlynn.com by them all online today.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Newspaper retractions
Though, I hate to admit, sometimes spelling REALLY can be important.
This actually appeared in The Daily Californian--a very serious campus newspaper for all of UC Berkeley.
Friday: Big advertisement--
Greek Special--
Our huge 18-inch penis...etc. etc. Almost as good coming up as it was going down.
Monday: RETRACTION-- A PAID ADVERTISEMENT --RETRACTION
The 'Greek Special' is a huge 18-inch PIZZA and not a huge 18-inch penis as it was described in the ad. Blondies Pizza would like to apologize for any confusion Friday's ad may have caused.
-------------
Here are some more funny newspaper retractions...
Read More...
Monday, November 5, 2007
Don't miss the Sienfeld reunion show
Friday, November 2, 2007
Passing Blog Comment Karma
"Have you passed on any good Karma yourself lately?"Now before you go off commenting willy nilly, Be sure to ask yourself these questions 1) Have I actually read the article I am commenting on? 2) Do I have some useful information or questions to ask about the posting? 3) What are my intentions for writing a comment (Do I really have something to say) 4) How good is the quality of my comment. After you have written it have you previewed it for changes before submitting? 5) If someone does post a comment on your blog please respond to it. Especially if they are asking you a question or clarification. Again, if you think of it, these are the things you would want others to think about before commenting on your blog right? Push out good Karma and it comes back to you. Push out bad Karma and it comes back to you as well. Happy Commenting. And watch out
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Happy Halloween
Happy Halloween
Play the audio file below to here some of my thoughts about Halloween, how it has changed, and to listen to a funny irish folk song from Marc Gunn.
Here's some funny Halloween photos to watch while you're listening
Monday, October 29, 2007
Arrogant Worms in Fredericton Nov 2
Get it on iTunes (Canada) Get it on iTunes (USA)
The Arrogant Worms will be in Fredericton this Nov 2, 2007. You can get your tickets for $25 @ the playhouse (
http://www.playhouse.ca/) (458-8344)Amazon.com DRM Free MP3
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Attack on Blog Commentors - Watch out
It appears someone was attempting to use my email address to post fake comments on the sites I frequently visit. Apparently it can be difficult for current anti-spam methods to easliy figure this out, so you may see comments that appear to be from me but are actually fake.
As I thought about this more, it reminded me of something else. Often, when commenting on a blog there is a checkbox to subscribe to blog comments by email. This can be a nice feature because it allows you to easily follow the conversation as it evolves. A few times, I noticed I was recieving blog comments on threads that I had not subscribed to. I just blew this of as a "bug" in the blogging software and never thought anymore about it. Now, however, I wonder if someone was adding comments as me, using my actual email address.
Has this happened to anyone else out there?
I am thinking of working on a new script using some form of OpenID and/or PGP to validate form comments, but until then here are a few suggestions:
Tips For Webmasters:
I know you are busy enough waving through thousands of spam messages already. But please watch out for "fake" commentors. You can usually discover this by checking the url submitted with the comment (is it a normal url used by this person), is it the right email address?, is the commnent coming from an unusual IP address.
Add the URL's of known spammers to your automatic spam plugins
For the commentors:
Keep a list of the blogs you are commenting on and watch out for people using your name/email to spoof themselves as a valid commentor.
If you do find this is happening to you, please be sure to let others know including the blog you are commenting on, so that this can be resolved quickly
Friday, October 19, 2007
3 Trivia Questions
Either way Enjoy !
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wifi T-Shirt for your Christmas wishlist
Now, you can just look at your Wifi detector T-Shirt
(Yes, it really works). For that lazy geek inside all of us.
This post sponsdered by thinkgeek.com
Friday, September 28, 2007
A choice in Time
I've been looking like a video like this for some time, and considered creating one myself, but this guy bet me too it.
I've always loved magic tricks, but was never very great at them myself. Check out this cool metalist trick. Hope you enjoy it !
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Web Crash 2007
Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash
Web Crash 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
911 Humor
Friday, September 14, 2007
Comedy Answering Machine Messages
To catch a ..Rabbit !
The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Video comparing iPhone to Microsoft Surface
"It's not an iPhone. It's a Big A** Table. Take that Apple."Read More... http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/581
Compae iPhone to Microsoft Surface
Remember, the recent news about Microsoft Surface? Here's a great advertisement for it !
LOL.. Why buy a silly old iPhone when you can get a huge table.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
George Burns at Vincent Price's Party
Here's one of my favorites. It's from a show he did about going to a party hosted by Vincent Price. I found it on bored.com.
Hope you enjoy it as much as me ;-)
Guys at Home Depot
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.
"The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"
The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."Read More... http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/575
Monday, September 10, 2007
Family Guy meets Star Wars
Read More... http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/577
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Google Google Mail Video
It's pretty cool what they came up with. Check it outRead More... http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/571
Friday, September 7, 2007
Getting a cork out of a bottle
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Happy SysAdmin Day
Family Guy meets Star Wars
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Computer Stupidities Operating Systems
One user -- a regular caller of ours -- got herself into some serious computer trouble when she set about cleaning up her system. She had been exploring the hard drive in the file manager and discovered hundreds of files in the Windows directory with all different file extensions. Being of an orderly mind, and with several hours of free time, she had created a TXT folder, a COM folder, a DLL folder, and so forth, and moved all the files into these subdirectories.
Read More... http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/572
Guys at Home Depot
The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
FunkyThoughts: Would you want this girlfriend?
This one's for the guys
Anywy, here's a similar video except for the guysRead More... http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/512
Monday, September 3, 2007
Review of Ratatouille | jells muse news
Sunday, September 2, 2007
20 Quick Ways to Increase Your Alexa Rank
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Google Google Mail Video
It's pretty cool what they came up with. Check it out
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix game has Wii wand controls - videogamesblogger.com:
Friday, August 31, 2007
FunkyThoughts: Naughy things not to do with your iPhone
Thursday, August 30, 2007
A1 Race Tickets
Theres a few INDY tickets left, get them now!Read More...http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/362
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Hiding files in Jpg images (jpeg)
Monday, August 27, 2007
Sixties San Francisco Posters and Memorabilia
Useful Life Tips
These tips present an overall strategy for coping and dealing with emotional conflicts. Inner tormoil can be created when a situtation occurs or you are about to make a decision and you are unsure, lack confidence, or are simply sad/angry/upset and are not sure how to improve your outlook.
To use this strategy follow each step in order, and ask yourself the 'critial thinking' questions assoicated. The 'root cause' of you problem likely revolves around one of the three items below (or some combination of these items). Continue to re-examine the questions until a plan is developed for resolution
1) Always be true to yourself
Remember when you were young, and someone told you about that little voice inside your head that tells you right from wrong.. (you know about the voice don't you?). Often times we find ourselves 'trapped' trying to figure out what is the "right" thing to do. We make seek advice from others and solicit opinions. (Sometimes, we get unsolicitied options as well). Although outside advice can be helpful (why else are you reading this). It is important never to fogot the little voice inside ourselfs. What it wants, what it believes is best, what it can live with.
You may find yourself sometimes arguing with your little voice. Trying to make excuses for why you "can't" or 'shouldn't do something. I can't stand the word "should" by the way, I think it needs expundged from our langauge, but I digress. Sometimes there is so much "noise" around us we can't even 'hear" what our inner voice is telling us. (or if you're like me there are so many voices, you don't know which one to listen too ;-))
Here are some strategies to re-discover your inner voice:
a) Sit in a quiet place alone. Pratice being by yourself, for 10-15 minutes alone each day without distractions. Ask yourself questions ("How do I feel about..." or just reflect on your day, or just try to clear you mind of distractions
b) Create a pro/con list. On a blank piece of paper right down your ideas "for" and "against" a certain decision or item you are trying to make. Often your inner voice will become clear as you are creating your list, or after you have created it, and take a look at what you've written. Important: make you list alone if you want to discover your own inner voice and elimate others
c) Imagine that you have made the decision (a). Walk yourself through the process, consider how you feel about it. Can you still look yourself in the mirror after making the decision. Are you beating yourself up about it. Are there things that maybe you hadn't considred. Sometimes you won't know these things until after you've made the decision, but then you can add it to you 'lessons learned about life' list for future reference.
One little "Test" -> When you are being true to yourself, you will find you are confident in your choice. You won't feel like you have to "defend" yourself. If other people question your decision you will find it easier to respond confidently and easily about your decision, without a hieightend emontional / stressfull state. You won't find yourself overly nervious or anxious. Often these feelings arise from not listenting to our inner voice, we are not being true to ourselves.
Okay, so if we have decided we are being true to ourselfs. The next important question to ask ourselves would be: "Is there something missing communication/clarification that is causing me undue grief". Similar to being afriad of the dark, our minds can twist information to build a story that is bullsh... well let's just say less then accurate. One clue that there is a lack of communication is when we find ourselves going over a situation over and over in our minds and asking ourselves the question "Why did so and so do that, or Doesn't he realize when he did that it hurts me?", Perhaps we drift into the past and try to construct a reason why someone did something to us.
When this occurs, what is actually happening (normally), is that there is some lack of communication or clarification. We would like to say something to someone, or tell something to someone, but we have not. This is not to say we are holding in "telling someone off" and that we won't feel better until we do so. Rather, we have not constructed the words in an approperiate manner, or are holding off communicating our message, and again this causes an inner turmoil within us.
To whom do I need to communicate this message? Am I requesting clarification of an event that had occured. Do I need to communicate my feelings to someone about something that is bother me? Am I avoiding communicating a message because I fear the consquences of the communication?
How do I frame the message? This is actually a 2 part question. In part a) we ask ourselves, what do we hope to accomplish by communicating the message, in part b) we ask ourselves, will this communication meet my goal?
A well framed message normally does the following:
1) Clarifies any mis-communication. Asks "when this event occured, was it your intention to.. [x]"
2) Explains feelings... When this event occured, I felt like....
3) States your pro-active approach for resolution: As I don't want to experiance this again, here's what I propose as my plan to cope with this issue...
In general, communication should not be aimed with the intent of modifying or changing the behavior of another. In a toxic environment your best defense is to remove yourself from the situation causing the issue. The only person you can be assured of changing is yourself..not others.
3) Take responsibility for your actions
Making a bad decision is not to be equated with being a bad person. Otherwise we would all be "bad" people because everyone one of us has made a bad decision at one point on our life and will probably do so again in the future.
A big part of "taking responsibility" means choosing our response. We, as humans, have an amazing capacity to look at a situation and exercise our free will to choose our actions. Other animals act on instinct but we don't have to do this, we can choose to act differently then our instinct. This is not to say that we should hide our feelings or dis-regard them, rather we should recognize our feelings and accept them, we should recognize our instinct re-action and accept it. BUT we should also recognize that we can choose differently.
Another view of this is as follows:
1) The world acts on YOU -> This is the belief that things just 'HAPPEN' to you and there is nothing you can do about it. This belief subscribes you to the fact that you are not in control, that you are not responsible for your actions. Things happen and you re-act and there was no way to do otherwise.
2) YOU act on the world -> This is the definition of being responsible. With this philosophy you understand that things HAPPEN in the world, some of these things are in your control but many things are not. Nevertheless, you proactively choose your actions to a situation. You are in control, you have a plan and you are following your plan. You understand there will be obstacles, but you also have the confidence to know you can handle each new event as it happens and tackle it head on.
My favorite analogy was a story I read one time about a man at a carnival. This man had never before been on a roller coaster ride, and was trying to decide (get the courage) to go on. Armed with his trusty digital camera, he took snapshots from the ground of others riding on the roller coaster.
He noted, there were basically two types of people riding the coaster. Person A) held there arms out high and screamed in enjoyment as the roller coaster swished by, Person B) had an ongoing terrified look on their face the entire time. Person B often closed there eyes and it was obvious they could not wait for the ride to end.
The man thought to himself for a moment, and decided to board the roller coaster. He asked his wife to take a picture of him as he went by. She did this, and his picture was one of the excited passengers with his hands out wide and a huge smile on his face. When his wife asked him later what this was all about, he replied "Well, I figured I could either be a person A) and enjoy the experience or a person B) and be terrified. So I choose to be a person A) and I enjoyed every minute of it !!
Dislcaimer: I am not a pyschologist or any type of theripist. None of the advice I give be taken as an expert in the field. These are suggestions that were passed down to me (that I've modifed to fit my thinking), and I am passing them along in hopes they may help others
Sunday, August 26, 2007
TV Review: 24 - Jack Goes Rogue Blogcritics.org
Ubuntu Mplayer resume posistion
Basically, I was having problems getting the script to remember my position when playing full screen on my television. I spent several hours of my
life tweaking this to try and figure out why it wasn't remembering my screen saver. It seemed to be a combination of things including the fact that it
would not write to the same location as my videos.
One "key" thing I seem to have noticed is that it is VERY IMPORTANT to a) Press STOP and not BACK on the remote to save the position correctly and b) when changing the setup (command line) options in Myth-Front End Video Settings -> Player. use mplayer-resume.pl %s don't use any other options (espically -quiet) which seems to prevent the perl script form reading the image
Install:
Make sure the files are +x (execuatable, and copy the scripts to the same directory as mplayer (/usr/bin maybe)
Modify your player settings in Myth Front End Video player to mplayer-resumer.pl $s
Modify mplayer-g as desired. Currently it disables the gnome-screensaver because as much as I tried I could not get the config option to work with
.mplayer. If you want to be fancy you could test to seen if screen is enabled first. Otherwise if you don't have a screen saver, this script might turn
it on unexpectantly.
Enjoy !
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Coca-Cola 600
Friday, August 24, 2007
Microsoft Surface Video. A whole new desktop experience
I don't expect to see one under my Christmas tree anytime soon though :-(Read More...http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/445
Gender Biased Pricing
I thought it was funny. I have never embedded real player stuff into a blog before though, so I'm not sure it it work work.
Let's find out ;-) You may need real player to get it to work
Disclaimer: I'm assuming it's okay to embed this, since it's freely downloadable from http://www.airfarce.com/video/050401.html
Hopefully I won't get any complaints, if so I'll remove it.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Free Webhosting from the Website Review | Website Review
FREE Hosting Plan
150 MB Disk Space
4 GB Data Transfer
1 Domains Hosting
1 MySQL Database
FrontPage Support
Read More...http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/546
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Take your mobile off the grid⦠(TreeHugger)
One of the things that give me the most hope about the future is that we really havenâ™t begun to tap the potential for reducing the amount of energy we consume in our lives.Read More...http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/212
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
The Fish Game in Haight Ashbury Land | Old Hippie\'s Sixties Pad
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Duck and Cover
An Ode to Cranky Geeks
One of my favorite podcasts is Cranky Geeks, hosted by John C Dvorak. This panel discusses various IT 'hot topics'
I love waiting for it to be downloaded each week, and I'm attaching my 'homage' to their show. Please remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
This podcast sums up every episode of cranky geeks so that you can be up to date with the latest episode. Enjoy !
Saying Hi to a Busker
Busking is a way to bring entertainment to the people. Many buskers have been practicing their talent for years. Normally, at the end of a show is the famous passing of the hat. Often, this how buskers earn their back to school money..there is no set price/dontation, they just ask that your remember...it takes 5 of those little golden Canadian coins to make 1 US$, so please give generously.
The 21 buskers festival just concluded in Halifax, NS (Aug 12-18), so keep your eyes open for buskes in your area, or make sure you go visit them next year
www.buskers.ca
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Nascar Strictly Stock
Getting a cork out of a bottle
Watch this video and see how it's done. Shhh..keep it a secret LOL
Friday, August 17, 2007
ClamWin Free Antivirus. GNU GPL Free Software Open Source Virus and Spyware Scanner. Download Free Windows Antivirus. Stay Virus and Spyware Free with Free Software. - About ClamWin Free Antivirus
Looking for a baby name...why not use "@"
Aparantly, the symbol has a special meeting in Chineese "love him"..so the story goes. The articles do not say if they were legally allowed to use this name.
I think it would be a cool name to have, and although the baby may be teased later in life, I can't think off my head a nasty school rhyme that uses "@". My understanding is that it's not pronounced "AT" like the common email pronounciation.
...I suppose they could have tried to name the baby Coca-Cola
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
YouTube vs. Google Video vs. Revver
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
San Francisco Sound - Quicksilver Messenger Service
Monday, August 13, 2007
ThePrizeBlog.com
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Bulgaria Number 1 Sports Site
Sport 1 - Спортният сайт на България
Read More...http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/139
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Top Idiot Awards
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Is reality TV Real?
Friday, August 3, 2007
Is reality TV Real?
From: Charlie Brooker
Friday, July 27, 2007
Danica Gallery 2
Happy SysAdmin Day
Don't forgot to turn up the volume !
Thanks-to Three Dead Trolls...you guys rock !
...Get the full MP3 song here
..And if you like this one, Check out Internet Helpdesk Training as well
Learn more about System Administrator Day..Yep it's real !
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Would you want this girlfriend?
Anywy, here's a similar video except for the guys.
Source: dekhona.com
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Google Streetview meet Soios
Sell people on a 360 camera that they can walk around snap images of their streets, and upload to Google Streetview. It should be a simple point, shoot, and upload system, that would help others add to the work Google is doing.
Just a thought...
Wake up and get noticed
Saturday, June 16, 2007
FunkyThoughts: Little Kids
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Bubba becomes Catholic
Monday, June 4, 2007
Saturday, June 2, 2007
FunkyThoughts: 20 years
Friday, June 1, 2007
20 years
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee. "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. "Yes, I do," she replies.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car ?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for twenty years!" "I remember that, too," she replies softly.
The husband wipes another tear from his cheek... "I'm a freeman now!"
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Guys at Home Depot
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.
"The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"
The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
Friday, May 25, 2007
Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Church Rules
"You must abstain for one whole month." The couple agreed, but after three weeks they returned to the Church.
When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed.
"You are back so soon... Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.
"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain for the required month." the young man replied sadly.
The pastor asked him what happened.
"Well, the first week was difficult... However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower.
The second week was terrible,but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain.
However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts.
"One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat." admitted the man, shamefacedly.
The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church."
"We know." said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome at Home Depot either."
Monday, May 21, 2007
FunkyThoughts: Importance of a name
Little 'Kids'
Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage." Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely." Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny." Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance.. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?" Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."
Importance of a name
"I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Not to worry," Peter said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."
Nine months later, Peter got a letter from the widow's attorney. He then went up to visit his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"
"Yes, I do."
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?"
"Yes, I have to admit that I did."
"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."
"Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!"
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Recueilli: Virtual Haircut
Monday, May 7, 2007
Person Making Contest...
So one day a very well-known and prominent Engineer had a spiritual crisis. She decided to take off a month and partake in a quest to find the meaning in life.
She wandered through the forest, and climbed the tallest moutain she could find. She fasted for 10 days and nights.
Eventually, GOD came to her in a vision, and said, "Hello, my child, what is troubling you?"
"Lord,", she responded, "We humans have come a long way in our science and technology, we have created many wonders, we can bulid massive structures, we have harnessed the power of the wind, the sea, and even the sun. We have learned to clone and grow our own children.I fear that you are no longer needed in this world that we have created.
God thought and pondered on this for a moment and finally he said, "Very well, my child, how about we have a person making contest." If you can make a better person then I have, then I will leave you to be on your own.
The Engineer thought for a moment, bent down and grabbed a handfull of dirt, with a smirk on her face she said "Okay I'm ready when you are !"
But GOD, looked at her, shook his head and stated, "No, my child, you must get your own dirt !"
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
The Survivors Guide to Mullholland Drive
By Brad Detchevery
Orginal: May 20, 2002
If you are reading this guide than I will assume that you just finished watching Mullholland Drive, a film by David Lynch. If you’re anything like me, your mind is grasping and anything and everything to try to make some sense of this picture, the storyline, plot, characters, what the whole movie was about. This guide cannot make sense of the madness of this film or its director, but rather gives an overview of the picture, surmises on why the movie maybe why it is, and makes grand assumptions on what the movie is about. These are my faint attempts to make sense of a movie that make a surrealistic painting look like a true work of art.
First things first, the movie doesn’t make sense and it’s not supposed to, Mr Lynch never intended it to. It is very important to understand this simple statement before going any further. The human mind has a need to make sense of everything, and it is this need that MullHolland Drive preys upon. The yearning to make sense of a random sense of events, untied subplots, and changing character names into a nice easy flowing story that we can easily grasp and then move on with our lives.
Mr Lynch is the same director that brought us the TV story Twin Peaks. A careful examination of this director’s style reveals that a common thread in his pictures is to leave open ended subplots and untied up endings to leave the audience wondering what is going on, what does this scene have to do with the movie ?, what happened to this character. Mr Lynch fills our minds with scene after random scene as our mind tries to grasp the meaning and continues to come up with nothing. Mullholland Drive is no exception.
Mullholland Drive was originally intended to be the pilot for an ABC TV series. Rumour has it that ABC/Walt Disney invested close to 7 million dollars into this pilot and got a story that was so twisted and confusing they did not want to take the gamble and release it to TV. It appears that the original screenplay revolved around 2 characters (Betty/Rita) as they start a new life together in Hollywood, after discovering that Rita has lost her memory, and appears to have been involved with some type of murder. Of course, many of the numerous subplots regarding the blue key, the director, the strange guy behind the restaurant (Denny’s) may have advanced further in a mini-series style TV show, but there isn’t time to do this if the picture is being turned into a movie, and since leaving loose ends is Mr Lynch’s style, who would notice any difference.
Okay, so imagine for a moment that you just wrote a pilot for a TV series only to be told that your picture is too confusing for the TV audience and that it would not be aired. Well like any mentally instance storyteller and director, you take your vengeance out on your work, totally mess it up so that it is un-recognizable. This is probably similar to what a writing or painter might to
do respond to criticism, or what a ‘sur-realistic’ artist does. Mr Lynch does this with his movie, he attempts to condense what he thought of as a TV series into a 2.5 hour motion picture and still convey the message of life in Hollywood, while at the same time making a statement about the way he ‘see’s life as a filmmaker, director, and his interaction with the actors, and actresses in his life. Or so I imagine anyway.
I think that the changing of the characters name in the last 30-45 minutes of the movie is to make a statement on the many faces of people in Hollywood. One one hand, there is a distinction between the lives of the actors and the characters they play, the way people think of actors and the attributes the general public have of them, and their actual lives, something which the general public knows nothing about. Another possible statement is the many faces of a person. How one day a person can be open and willing to help with a movie/series and then the next day close everything down and turn against you. I think Mr Lynch felt this way before ABC cancelled his MullHolland Drive series idea, but further enhanced it in his last 30 minutes after this experience.
I think he also tried to portray the many different types of actors in Hollywood from the naive/innocent type (Betty) to the cut-throat do anything to get ahead type (Joe – the guy that botched the fake suicide/murder). I think Lynch probably identifies most with Dan, the guy that has the dream about the monster behind the restaurant. He is afraid of things that he knows can/does happen yet is powerless to do anything about it, and he cannot stand to be directly confronted with it so has to approach it from this unique sur-realistic viewpoint. (the dream)
When Betty first gets of the plane, she says goodbye to an old Woman, and man. I think that these represent the ‘audience’ from Lynch’s point of view. Again with multiple faces here, as interested and excited about a new film, but at the same time a ‘stress’ to live up to, a ‘something’ to satisfy. Perhaps, no matter how hard he tries, he can never quite get there and they are always on his mind.
These are just some ideas of what might have been going through Mr Lynch’s mind as he mangled his twisted TV pilot, into a confusing array of random scene’s sewn together by his hopes and desires. Some would say that you can’t fault Mr Lynch for this because this is the way he makes his movies, so he is simply holding true to his nature. These are probably the same people that look at abstract art and see meaning in it.
I hope that this paper has helped you to put to rest the many thoughts that may flow through your mind after watching the picture, if not I urge you to try. Destroy the movie and forget you ever saw it, because the deeper you look into it, the more confused you become, and in the end only Mr. Lynch knows what his movie was about, what was going on in his head, and I doubt he will ever tell us in plain and simple terms.
© 2002 Brad Detchevery. All thoughts expressed are the opinion of the author and may hold no resemblance to reality.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Is this real? Hammering a nail with a lightbulb?
Once the new light bulb law passes, this might be all they are good for
Is there in TRUTH no BEAUTY ?
In the spirit of my introductory paragraph let me define TRUTH. Whenever I use the word TRUTH this is what I mean:
TRUTH is what an individual believes and is based on the individual knowledge of what he/she believes to be true. Furthermore Universal Truth is imaginary.
There isn't one TRUTH about anything that is universal under all circumstances. Oh, but the smart folks out there are probably saying: “What about those TRUTH'S which are TRUE in virtue of there meaning such as 2 + 2 = 4”. For the time being I will just say that those “TRUTHS” should be more properly called "FACTS" since they are understood to be true no matter what. For example, suppose I'm a space alien...If I understand the concepts of 2,4,+, and = then I can understand the equality of 2 + 2 = 4. So it is important to first realize that when I say, ‘This is TRUE’ what I am really saying is this is my belief of truth and furthermore I am impressing that you should also hold my belief. This is how I define TRUTH.
Okay So given the above definition what shall I do with it? I want to become a computer programmer. (In case you skipped my apology). With my definition of TRUTH it is TRUE that I AM a computer programmer simply by believing it is so. What I have just done is to explain the concept of all those self-help books.
Step 1: Assume (believe) ...insert thing you wish to improve upon... is true.
Step 2: Read the self-help book and realize what you at first believed to be true actually is true.
By my definition you may have realized what you believed to be true was true from the start and it took a whole book to realize a simple truth that was there all along.# This is the first applied example of what I call "common knowledge". Try using my definition of TRUTH and only my definition and many things should become clearer.
To push my idea even further let's take a look at those people whom, as it is generally regarded, have no conscience and feel no remorse. No such person actually exists but if a person believes he/she has no conscience and does everything in his/her power to prove they have no conscience than the TRUTH is that person has no conscience. Okay, so then you may ask why does it matter if the person only believes it would not that be the same thing as not having one? The answer to this is "NO". Other definitions of TRUTH lead us to believe that what is TRUE cannot be changed it just is TRUE, however, this is what I subdivided into what is a FACT not a TRUTH. With my definition of TRUTH we can simply change the TRUTH by changing what we believe. The next question is this "Is it that simple?", "Can we give a person a conscience by making that person believes he/she has one?". If the words are powerful enough we can make anyone believe anything so you can see that TRUTH is a very flexible thing.
For those of you who are bored let me bring in a little Star Trek oldie. Ahhh but I already did! The start of this chapter starts with the question "Is there in TRUTH no BEAUTY?". One of the old Star Trek episodes has this very title. It is probably some infringement of some law somewhere to tell you what that episode was about not and that it's necessary to get into anyway. If I may restate the question, and I think I have that power, to this "What is the BEAUTY of TRUTH?"
I’m sure most of you are aware of what LIE is and differences such things as a white LIE and a black LIE and all the other things which we call lies. A Lie is a bending of the truth and if truth is as flexible as I say it is, and if we truly believe our lies than our lies must be the TRUTH which means Lying can't be all that bad now can it? The truth is we LIE to make things sound better or more interesting. We hope that by shaping the truth in our own fashion we can somehow accomplish a sense of pride from others
This bending of Truth to our own needs is something we are all guilty of. Most of the time it is probably unconscious we don't even realize what we are doing. The important thing to realize is we should not bend the truth for our own needs but for the needs of everyone. This way if we make everyone believe a bent truth, which will benefit the world as a whole, this becomes the real TRUTH by my definition and this is the BEAUTY of TRUTH.
Funny Student Exam Answers
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Double Delicious Fruit Cake
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Someone Moved My Damn Waste Basket: A Better Mouse Trap?
Friday, April 27, 2007
Delusional Calgaria - Watch the Intervention Video
Thursday, April 26, 2007
FunkyThoughts: Long Swim...
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Unfortunate Domain Names
Computer Terms
Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine.
One group was composed of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you might have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Funny Magic Mind reading Card Trick
Weird brain thing when stopping in a parking lot (Opitcal Illusiosn)
You're just pulling into a parking lot, you start to put your foot on the break and are coming to a stop...
At the same time a car (usually to the right of me), starts pulling out of the parking lot. You just catch it out of the corner of your eye..
Now your (or at least my) brain is confused, and thinks that my car is still moving forward, even though I am at a complete stop. Especially if you are parking near a building you may push the brake hard because you are worried for a second.
In the next second you realize what has happened, and maybe feel a little silly about it.
Whatever way you look at it, it's interesting how our brain interprets visual cues and makes assumptions which aren't always true.
More Optical Illusions...
Monday, April 23, 2007
Funny Magic Trick Mind reading
I remember back in elementry school, I used to show magic tricks at lunch time, they become dubbed 'Stupid Magic Tricks'...perhaps this is such an example.
Sorry the audio is so low, I have to remember to increase my mic volume sooner or later.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Cognitive Distortions
All-Or-Nothing: You see things as black or white categories
Overgeneralization: You see single negative events as a never-ending pattern of defeat
Mental Filter: You pick out a single negative detail, and dwell on it exclusively so that you vision of all relative becomes darkened.
Disqualifying the positive: You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count:” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences
Jumping to conclusions: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts to support the conclusion:
Mind reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you and you don’t bother to check this out
The fortune teller error: You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is already an established fact
Magnification or Minimizing: You exaggerate the importance of things or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny.
Emotional Reasoning: You assume that your negative emotions reflect the way things really are. “I feel it therefore it must be true”
Should statements: You try to motivate yourself with should and must, the emotional consequence causing guilt
Labeling and mislabeling: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization where you attach a negative label to yourself.
Personalization: You see yourself as the cause for some negative external event which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The concept of Nothing
Well I still didn't tell you what nothing is have I? (that sounds like an interesting statement) When all else fails, when all idea's have been exhausted, when thought breaks down into elementary concepts, and when we are absent from all we know to be TRUE what is left then is nothing.
You can't touch it, you can't smell it, you will never see it but it "exists" nevertheless. What is between any two objects in a vacuum? The moral is be VERY careful when using a concept such as nothing.
Okay the last concepts I wish to discuss is the word GOOD and the word RIGHT. These are two other concepts that the dictionary conveniently jumps around on. RIGHT I think I can easily define because I have already defined TRUTH. In this book what is RIGHT is what is held to be TRUE. Keep in mind that this means that RIGHT is as individual as TRUTH and it is not collectable as society might make it appear to be. We only make it appear so because we do function in a society and as such we must "bend" the "truth" so everyone will believe one thing is RIGHT and another is WRONG.
The concept of Good is a difficult one because it involves some emotional assumptions that won't be discussed in detail until later in this book. An individual does GOOD when he/she commits an ACT believed to be RIGHT, also believing the consequence of that ACT to be RIGHT and furthermore having a "feeling" that the ACT benefits people as a whole. The "feeling" is the most important part of this definition because we "feel" Good when we do Good.
I hope your not bored with all this defining business but just look at it as bookkeeping so later on when you disagree with something I've said you can just go back to the definition and try and see it from my point of view. Of course you must agree with my definitions and I hopefully have convinced you of their validity. Here is the biggest application of my definition, which is the scope of this entire book. In other words if you skipped this entire chapter you should READ at least this part:
All knowledge in any form, whether spoken, written, acted, once it has ended you are left thinking. This is the key of a good story but after a while that thinking subsides and other things enter your mind. I want to leave you thinking with this book and continue thinking the rest of you life this is DOW. The end result of all knowledge is the same if we think about it long enough. From Stephen Hawking, to All My Children, to Sesame Street. They all DO the same thing. They all invoke thought and when we invoke thought we open up worlds which otherwise would never be possible.
Well I hope you can see how one definition can spawn a number of different things about life. I should stress that I am not saying we should let everyone out of prison just because they'll promise to be good. However when a person really does believe they can feel remorse...when they really do feel it of there own accord and when they are prepared to re-enter society then those people deserve the a chance to start over because those are the people who will not go back to prison and those are the people who have earned it. It just takes some longer than others.
Monday, April 16, 2007
What is Choas Anyway?
What if ‘chaos’ is simply an un-understood pattern?
What if there exists another ‘realm’ beyond self-awareness. A ‘total’ awareness of how all things in the universe work together and form a common relationship.
What if the discovery of this relationship, and the gap between the mind (imagination, thought process) and reality, is contained within this ‘total awareness’.
To understand, to become ‘totally aware’ might be a kin to ‘touching god’.
The clues/puzzles may be already laid out for us, (full or in part), as we grow and evolve we understand more and more about the word around us. Eventually we will discover that everything is inter-related (perhaps to be expressed in mathematics) and thus we will understand the true nature of the universe.
In summary, the universe may in fact be an entity onto itself, An entity which we can observe parts of, but not yet the whole. Something which we cannot yet fully comprehend. Something that lives and breathes. That all apparent ‘random’ events are set in motion by one governing law, one ultimate destination that eludes us. If we were to discover it, if it were to be known by all people and shared, live would be changed forever
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Long Swim...
Go to: http://maps.google.com
Go to: "Get Directions"
Type in From: "new york, new york"
Type in To: "paris, france"
funnyness is about step 23 or so
[ If you don't see the same funniness you can check out the what we received when we tried it]
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Effective Meetings
- Do I know the purpose for the meeting, why is it being called ?
- Is it clear who is leading the meeting ?
- Is there an agenda ?
- Did I get the agenda in advance, so that I could prepare for the meeting ?
- Is there a time limit set for the meeting ?
- Do I need to be present for the whole meeting, or can I just attend for a shorter period of time ?
- Did I get minutes from the last meeting ?
- Will minutes and actionable items be tabled at this meeting ?
- Was I given enough notice of the meeting ?
- If the meeting has been called with very little, or no notice, is it a real emergency ?
- Should I be attending the meeting versus working on the priroties I have set for the day.
Qualties of an effective meeting:
Generates: Focus ; Enthusiam, Clear expectations ; improved communication; Synergy
Acheives Results
Some valuable types of meetings to have:
Planning sessions- Figuring out what as a team we plan to do
Brainstorming - get lots of ideas from different perspectives.
Identifying problems and needs
Setting goals
Engergizing & Supporting People
Evaluating Results and celebrating sucesses
Focus on ‘what’ needs to be done ; not necessarily the details of how it should be done ; generate owners for ‘hows’ ; expected results; and a timeframe to members of the team, and avoid getting bogged down in conflicting suggestions and methods from everyone.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
It must be true - I read it on the Internet
recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken - which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC.
Anyway, one day this friend went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid
to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive and infect all the electronics in his house if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"
He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true - I read
it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me A free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped around a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital - the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and The American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of X's and O's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but for 10 people you
will only have OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.
Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will receive 4 green m&ms, but if you don't the owner of Proctor and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you will get cancer from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your
shampoo, you/your wife will develop breast cancer from using the antiperspirant which clogs the pores under your arms, and the U.S. government will put a tax on Your e-mails forever.
I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Parmasean Chicken Recipe
- 1/2lb chicken or chicken pieces
- Mozeralla Cheese(Shredded)
- Spaghetti Sauce
- Salt, Pepper, Parmesan Cheese
- Pkg of spaghetti or spiral noodles
Instructions:
- Preheat ovan to 350F
- Line glass dish with tin foil
- Place chicken on tin foil
- Shread the cheese (if needed)
- Place 1/2 the spaghetti sauce on the chicken then add the cheese
- Bake chicken until cooked
- Boil the spaghetti noodles or spiral noodles
- Heat the remainder of the spaghetti sauce
- Drain cooked noodles
- Add heated sauce and cooked noodles together
- Place noodles on plates and add a piece of chicken to each plate
- Add salt, paper, and Parmesan cheese to test