From the page: "Itâ€s not just the weather thatâ€s cooler in Canada: You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud music or throws raucous parties. He doesnâ€t gossip over the fence, just smiles politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his house is neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesnâ€t always lock his front door. He wears Dockers. You hardly know heâ€s there. And then one day you discover that he has pot in his basement, spends his weekends at peace marches and that guy youâ€ve seen mowing the yard is his spouse."
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Marriage = 1 man + 1 woman
This is a repost of: http://www.hells-handmaiden.com/?p=1113 posted in Politics by themaiden |
Well…
… unless one happens to be a Biblical Patriarch, in which case marriage equals one man and several women, or even one man, several women and free use of slave girls called concubines.
Or if one happens to be a legendary Israelite King then marriage equals one man and hundreds of women plus slave girls.
Or if one happens to be a Jew up until the tenth century, marriage could mean one man and several wives.
Much the same held in China for century upon century.
Or perhaps one happens to be one of the Toda, then marriage equals several men plus one woman. Or perhaps one is a nomadic Tibetan, then marriage equals two brothers and one woman.
Or maybe one is Kaingang, in which case one has options– one man plus one woman, one man plus several women, several women plus one man, or several men plus several women.
Or maybe one is Nayar, in which case marriage isn’t much about adding at all.
Or in large swathes of the pre-columbian New World, one could opt to marry a berdache.
A soldier in any number of cultures– among them the ancient Greek and the Japanese– could take a younger soldier for a ‘military wife’. The practise still continues in some African cultures, the !Kang, for example.
Really, these “Marriage = One Man + One Woman” people need a lesson in cultural anthropology.
For Those Who Enjoy Language
From the page: "For Those Who Enjoy Language
1. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris…are in-seine.
2. A backward poet writes…inverse.
3. A manâ€s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
4. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
5. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
6. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
7. A man needs a mistress…just to break the monogamy.
8. A hangover is the wrath of grapes."
Monday, October 13, 2008
Time Warp by Blendtec -- Revver Online Video Sharing Network
Take a peek at how Blend Tech blends time in honor of the new show Tom recently appeared on called "Time Warp". It's on The Discovery Channel and they show amazing things in super slow motion, using new high-speed technology. Look for Tom on "Time Warp", on Wednesday, October 15th. Check your local listings for time and station.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Office Culture: Anti-Theft Lunch Bag Deters Sandwich Thieves
Found this link over at lifehacker. Thanks to geek news central for telling me about it.
I don't think I'd actually buy one of these, but it's a funny idea. It might lead to your lunch being thrown out instead of just stolen!
I don't think I'd actually buy one of these, but it's a funny idea. It might lead to your lunch being thrown out instead of just stolen!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Love help: Funny metaphors used in high school essays - Help.com
I've read this one before, a long time ago, so I had to add it to my collection. Good for a laugh to turn your frown upside down.
Metaphors used by high school students
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine
Metaphors used by high school students
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine
Friday, October 10, 2008
Amazing Waterfall Theatrics
Check out this video. It is an amazing waterfall creation that shoots water droplets and is designed to make various letters and images. I just hope they are reusing the water over and over for the nice effects. Simply beautiful, definitely worth checking out !
Whether it's the dramatic countdown, the striking thunderbolts, or the whimsical dolphins, you won't be disappointed. This method was innovated by Julius Popp in his machine: "Bitfall," which just as precisely created words that flashed by in the blink of an eye. This would surely make him proud...
Thursday, October 9, 2008
My Evil Cat is Trying To Kill Me
Christoph Reilly writes a very funny article here on his experiance with cats and dogs. I have 2 cats and a dog myself, so when I heard taht his cat was trying to kill him and perhaps is possessed I just had to laugh !
LOL, I don't think my cats are out to get me, at least not yet, and I hope it states that way
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tiger Woods: The Jesus Shot
Tiger Woods can Walk on Water while golfing , a great viral video from EA Games.
Here's a funny example of marketing at work, and making fun of themselves in the process.
So I guess when they orginally released the 08 Tiger Woods golf game, there was a software glitch, a YouTube user noticed this glitch and uploaded it to YouTube for everyon to see.
Watch this video to see how EA Games responded! It's not a glitch! It's a feature.
Here's a funny example of marketing at work, and making fun of themselves in the process.
So I guess when they orginally released the 08 Tiger Woods golf game, there was a software glitch, a YouTube user noticed this glitch and uploaded it to YouTube for everyon to see.
Watch this video to see how EA Games responded! It's not a glitch! It's a feature.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Creative waterfall
Check out this video. It is an amazing waterfall creation that shoots water droplets and is designed to make various letters and images. I just hope they are reusing the water over and over for the nice effects. Simply beautiful, definitely worth checking out !
Whether it's the dramatic countdown, the striking thunderbolts, or the whimsical dolphins, you won't be disappointed. This method was innovated by Julius Popp in his machine: "Bitfall," which just as precisely created words that flashed by in the blink of an eye. This would surely make him proud...
Monday, October 6, 2008
Pick Brains: 7 tips for keeping your desk messy - A messy desk is a sign of creativity and imagi...
A messy desk is a sign of creativity and imagination. There is something about a messy desk that makes it look like work has been done. Many of the smartest people in history were so involved in their work that they did not bother to tidy things like their desk.
A desk that is too clean and tidy gives the impression that you have no on-going work and might need more work. You can have that, so here are some tips to keep your desk messy.
A desk that is too clean and tidy gives the impression that you have no on-going work and might need more work. You can have that, so here are some tips to keep your desk messy.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Tech Support | Got Funny
Here's a funny tech support message regarding some guy installing "Wife 1.0"
I found it amusing, hope you will aw well:
From The Page:
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my other favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks,
Troubled User.....
(Don't miss the reply ->)
I found it amusing, hope you will aw well:
From The Page:
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my other favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks,
Troubled User.....
(Don't miss the reply ->)
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Windows Software Engineer - Montreal
Look at the bottom - I think the point is the part at the bottom where to apply you have to have a sense of humor !
Has anyone else ever has this requirement on a job application, or do we put it on our resumes?
Has anyone else ever has this requirement on a job application, or do we put it on our resumes?
Friday, October 3, 2008
How To Use Celine Dion As a Productivity Tool
I feel it important to point out this productivyt trick works for many other musicians as well, not just Celine
Thursday, October 2, 2008
http://users.skynet.be/bk258512/idiot_test.swf
Here's a little quiz that tests your ability to follow simple instructions, all you need is a lot of free time and the ability to read - carefully.
Have fun
Have fun
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
http://gotfunny.leroysjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/get-attachmentaspx1.jpg
A Lesson:
Don't leave your mother in charge of sending out your wedding invitations, and if you do - always be sure to proof read it before it
goe out to everyone :-)
Don't leave your mother in charge of sending out your wedding invitations, and if you do - always be sure to proof read it before it
goe out to everyone :-)
Monday, September 29, 2008
http://www.ariel.com.au/jokes/The_Evolution_of_a_Programmer.html
One of my favorites. Anyone who has tried to learn writing computer programs has undoubtedly heard of the infamous "Hello World" first program.
Here's how it evolves through the years. If you don't get it, your just not geeky enough !
Here's how it evolves through the years. If you don't get it, your just not geeky enough !
Sunday, September 28, 2008
An Engineers Guide to Cats
Here's a great video for all us geeks out there thinking of buying cats. I, of course, have 2 cats of my own and I never really considered myself a cat person, but today I don't know how life was without them. Anyway, kinda funny hope you like it
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Military Humor
These are great ! Too funny. It's great when even the military have a sense of humor right !
Friday, September 26, 2008
Mail a brick to junk mailers using paid postage - Creative tips with dealing with spammers and bulk mailers
Here's a great article on how to get back on junk mail people who send you those "no postage necessary" return envelopes.
Of course it also "hurts" the postal carrier as well and I'm not sure if it really works, but I thought it was a funny idea regardless.
Of course it also "hurts" the postal carrier as well and I'm not sure if it really works, but I thought it was a funny idea regardless.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
http://home.arcor.de/ragnara/catsown.jpg
Cats and Computer symbols - I just knew this had to exist out there somewhere !
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations
From the page: "The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
* Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
* Witness: "I only have one, you know."
* Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
* Witness: "By death."
* Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?""
* Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
* Witness: "I only have one, you know."
* Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
* Witness: "By death."
* Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?""
Monday, September 22, 2008
GetAmused.com - Electronic Voting Machine - Florida
This video was probably more funny back when the election happened, but still, you gotta love electronic voting ;-)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Talk Show Plot Generator
A whle back I once had a funny little table that automatically generated plot shows, you just took one item from each column and it soundled like something you'd see on the springer show. Here's a little page that basically does the same thing.
It's probably the same one springer uses ;-)
It's probably the same one springer uses ;-)
Saturday, September 20, 2008
feature on Flickr - Photo Sharing!
Might have to be a geeky programmer to get this one!
Famous Last Words of a Code Monkey (Programmer)
It's not a bug - It's a feature.. Get it Now?
Famous Last Words of a Code Monkey (Programmer)
It's not a bug - It's a feature.. Get it Now?
Friday, September 19, 2008
The 36 Rules of Life | Got Funny
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Read More...
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Read More...
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The solution to Greed?
Based on information from http://www.archive.org/details/ThePowerOfNightmares
We are all greedy, we all want more, we fail to be satisfied once we've achieved our goals? Why? Greed is natural it is part of being a living entity on this ball we call the earth?
Why do I say this? Have you ever considered the difference between a "living" thing and a "non-living" thing?
Rocks are non-living, they are made up of atoms, they follow the "great laws" of nature. They have but one "desire" to achieve equilibrium. A non-living thing when taken out of a state of
equilibrium will supply effort/energy to get back to an equilibrium state.
Living things (such as you and I) are similar. If you are taken out of your comfort zone, you will work to try and get back to it. However, there is one important difference. A living thing [for whatever reason] once in a state of equilibrium will get 'bored', and will supply effort/energy to move itself out of equilibrium, and thus an ongoing cycle of in/out of equilibrium occurs.
In our brain, this desire can manifest itself as greed. At this point, I must point out that even if greed is natural, and a part of all living things, does not mean it is 'good'. But the first step to the solution is to recognize that we all have it and/or are susepticle to it.
Consider, that most laws in the world are solutions to the symptoms of problems involving greed.
Theft, Murder, Assault, Drugs. We want more, more money, more stuff, more drugs, etc. But these are just symtoms of a bigger problem. We, as individuals, are inherently greedy.
Not all of our problems are caused by greed. Some acts such as sexual assault, or serial killing, do not seem to be related to greed, but to other twisted psychological issues. So solving Greed will not fix everything.
But there is a problem..imposing limits on greed, by many people is considered 'unethical' even 'evil' itself. Limits on greed limits individual liberty, and is considered socialist thinking. For some people the idea of socialists just puts a bad taste in the mouth.
And yet, we continue to prosocute those tho commit crime in the name of greed, and the crime continues. Would it be such a terrible idea to create a socieity that imposes limits on greed, just as we impose limits on things like murder, and theft?
Of course, this is riddled with problems, how does one define what it is to be 'too greedy?'
Another major problem, is that greed seems to be part of our nature, we are never satisfied with the status quo - we always want more. If this is true, we would need to evolve out of this mentatility as a people before we could keep the society functioning. People, would in essence have to be un-corruptable. Is such an idea even possible?
We are all greedy, we all want more, we fail to be satisfied once we've achieved our goals? Why? Greed is natural it is part of being a living entity on this ball we call the earth?
Why do I say this? Have you ever considered the difference between a "living" thing and a "non-living" thing?
Rocks are non-living, they are made up of atoms, they follow the "great laws" of nature. They have but one "desire" to achieve equilibrium. A non-living thing when taken out of a state of
equilibrium will supply effort/energy to get back to an equilibrium state.
Living things (such as you and I) are similar. If you are taken out of your comfort zone, you will work to try and get back to it. However, there is one important difference. A living thing [for whatever reason] once in a state of equilibrium will get 'bored', and will supply effort/energy to move itself out of equilibrium, and thus an ongoing cycle of in/out of equilibrium occurs.
In our brain, this desire can manifest itself as greed. At this point, I must point out that even if greed is natural, and a part of all living things, does not mean it is 'good'. But the first step to the solution is to recognize that we all have it and/or are susepticle to it.
Consider, that most laws in the world are solutions to the symptoms of problems involving greed.
Theft, Murder, Assault, Drugs. We want more, more money, more stuff, more drugs, etc. But these are just symtoms of a bigger problem. We, as individuals, are inherently greedy.
Not all of our problems are caused by greed. Some acts such as sexual assault, or serial killing, do not seem to be related to greed, but to other twisted psychological issues. So solving Greed will not fix everything.
But there is a problem..imposing limits on greed, by many people is considered 'unethical' even 'evil' itself. Limits on greed limits individual liberty, and is considered socialist thinking. For some people the idea of socialists just puts a bad taste in the mouth.
And yet, we continue to prosocute those tho commit crime in the name of greed, and the crime continues. Would it be such a terrible idea to create a socieity that imposes limits on greed, just as we impose limits on things like murder, and theft?
Of course, this is riddled with problems, how does one define what it is to be 'too greedy?'
Another major problem, is that greed seems to be part of our nature, we are never satisfied with the status quo - we always want more. If this is true, we would need to evolve out of this mentatility as a people before we could keep the society functioning. People, would in essence have to be un-corruptable. Is such an idea even possible?
Warning: This is a rather long video (3 parts about 60 minutes each. If you can't sit still you can always bookmark it and check back later, or get this file here and burn it to a DVD.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Would you rather be RIGHT? or be HAPPY?
This phrase keeps echoing through my mind as I try to complete my "normal work". So how do I get rid of it?
Have you ever had a disagreement with a loved one? You're opinion and his/her opinion is different, you both want so bad to convince each other who is right and who is wrong.
Perhaps - it even comes down to low blows and bringing up past things that were said or done.
I remember seeing this presentation one time. A guy on a stage invites someone to come up, and he holds his hand out. The presenter pushes on the man's hand - and what does the man do instantly? - He pushes back
It is, of course, a natural re-action to push back when we feel pushed upon. Though it might always be the best response to the situation.
It also seems to be a "natural" human tendancy to try and bring others to our point of view, to change other people's minds so that they see the world the way we do - again this might not always be the best stratedgy to diffuse a rough situation
So what I hate about the idea of being "happy" over being "right" is the idea that I should just "shut up" and not give my opinion. Being in a situation where my opinion is unwanted or un-needed makes me know less happy then trying to be right.
But as I get older (and maybe wiser?) I start to look at this a bit differently. It comes back again to choosing our response vs our re-action. If you find yourself in a heated situation you can bet you are not choosing your response very wisely. Why? Because a properly choosen response should diffuse the situation and not increase it. I know from experiance this can be hard to accept in the heat of the moment, but we must remember, we cannot change others, we can only change ourself.
So the next time you find yourself in such a situation, STOP - take a minute and think.. am i choosing words that are helping or hindering? Did I start the conversation off in a way that tooks us off track? How can I bring us back ontrack?
Have you ever had a disagreement with a loved one? You're opinion and his/her opinion is different, you both want so bad to convince each other who is right and who is wrong.
Perhaps - it even comes down to low blows and bringing up past things that were said or done.
I remember seeing this presentation one time. A guy on a stage invites someone to come up, and he holds his hand out. The presenter pushes on the man's hand - and what does the man do instantly? - He pushes back
It is, of course, a natural re-action to push back when we feel pushed upon. Though it might always be the best response to the situation.
It also seems to be a "natural" human tendancy to try and bring others to our point of view, to change other people's minds so that they see the world the way we do - again this might not always be the best stratedgy to diffuse a rough situation
So what I hate about the idea of being "happy" over being "right" is the idea that I should just "shut up" and not give my opinion. Being in a situation where my opinion is unwanted or un-needed makes me know less happy then trying to be right.
But as I get older (and maybe wiser?) I start to look at this a bit differently. It comes back again to choosing our response vs our re-action. If you find yourself in a heated situation you can bet you are not choosing your response very wisely. Why? Because a properly choosen response should diffuse the situation and not increase it. I know from experiance this can be hard to accept in the heat of the moment, but we must remember, we cannot change others, we can only change ourself.
So the next time you find yourself in such a situation, STOP - take a minute and think.. am i choosing words that are helping or hindering? Did I start the conversation off in a way that tooks us off track? How can I bring us back ontrack?
Monday, June 30, 2008
An Engineers Guide to Cats
Here's a great video for all us geeks out there thinking of buying cats. I, of course, have 2 cats of my own and I never really considered myself a cat person, but today I don't know how life was without them. Anyway, kinda funny hope you like it
Friday, June 27, 2008
Start your car with your cellphone (Key Fob
Well of course, I never have any really original ideas. But I was thinking the other day, shouldn't it be possible with a bluetooth device, for my other devices to be intelligent and detect my presence?
For example, wouldn't it be nice if as I walk up to my car, the doors automatically unlocked, the car started and it was ready and waiting? [Because pushing a button on my key chain is just way to much work]
Well, the basic idea already exists and the device is called a KeyFob. The KeyFob sends out a wireless transmission to your car, which responds and acknowledges you. It is a small device that you attach to your keychain, and can be used to start your car, sound a horn etc etc. It is also possible to embed the device into the 'key' itself. So if someone copies your key, it still won't start your car because the car will recognize the key as a forgery.
So you can expand on this idea and use existing bluetooth technology. So that your phone, or bluetooth headset is recognized by your car, your office computer, or you home and responds accordingly.
I have set this up myself and will release instructions shortly. It seems to work pretty well. I have it attached to my twitter account so when I leave my home, my status is sent out to twitter, and when I arrive at work, my laptop nicely unlocks itself for me. No bluetooth reciever in my car...yet :-)
You can of course, expand on this idea. Suppose employees just synced their cell phone with the work security system to gain building access, or for parking privileged etc. Your home door could unlock for you when you arrive home, and your lights could turn off automatically when you leave. The possibilities...endless?
For example, wouldn't it be nice if as I walk up to my car, the doors automatically unlocked, the car started and it was ready and waiting? [Because pushing a button on my key chain is just way to much work]
Well, the basic idea already exists and the device is called a KeyFob. The KeyFob sends out a wireless transmission to your car, which responds and acknowledges you. It is a small device that you attach to your keychain, and can be used to start your car, sound a horn etc etc. It is also possible to embed the device into the 'key' itself. So if someone copies your key, it still won't start your car because the car will recognize the key as a forgery.
So you can expand on this idea and use existing bluetooth technology. So that your phone, or bluetooth headset is recognized by your car, your office computer, or you home and responds accordingly.
I have set this up myself and will release instructions shortly. It seems to work pretty well. I have it attached to my twitter account so when I leave my home, my status is sent out to twitter, and when I arrive at work, my laptop nicely unlocks itself for me. No bluetooth reciever in my car...yet :-)
You can of course, expand on this idea. Suppose employees just synced their cell phone with the work security system to gain building access, or for parking privileged etc. Your home door could unlock for you when you arrive home, and your lights could turn off automatically when you leave. The possibilities...endless?
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Microsoft Vista - The next generation bloatware
By now, you should all have realized that Microsoft has released it latest operating system "Vista". Orginally codenamed "CE-ME-NT". This latest version promises to deliver more decreased productivity then ever before. An operating system so overblow they've chopped it up into 6 different versions, none of which actually work. At least not until you've spend hundreds of dollars on upgrades to your system to make it run (somewhat) The popular new feature is the arrow cursor, that lets you flow through blue screens, red screens, endless pop-ups ad permission questions all in eye-popping 3D ! Just like in previous versions, Every copy of Vista is covered by Microsoft's Gold Standard - Sinkhole of support. Is it any wonder we ask "Where are we going today?"
Friday, June 13, 2008
Funny Newspaper Headlines
If you've ever been up late at night, you've probably seen Jay Leno's headlines. If not here's a quick preview. Nice for a good Friday Laugh ! BTW - It was a bit hard trying to find a Leno video so I don't know if the video at the link below will continue to work. NBC seems to be taking them down from various sites along the web. So watch it while it lasts !
Funny Newspaper Headlines
When my first daughter was born, we did not get a lot of sleep at night, we found we were often up at 2 and 3am in the morning. I've probably seen more of the Tonight Show then any other time in my life
Here's a few more:
The Funny Pages - Newspaper Headlines
Headline Humor
Armenian Teens Newspaper Humor
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Understanding Movie Prices
If you're like me.. [besides being a bit crazy]..you would be growing more and more annoyed at the advertisements being played in movie theatres !! Haven't seen them yet? If not please let me know, where you live, so I can start going to your movie theatre :-)
After paying $10.00 for the movie, plus $15.00 for concessions, then sitting through 30 minutes of adveritsing, finally I get to watch my movie. What's up with that?
A friend of mine used to be an assistant manager fojr a local cinema. He tells me the "secret" told to staff is that "We are not in the movie business, we are in the concession business"
Making a movie is possibly one of the best examples of teamwork/quality that can ever be accomplished. All in a fairly short timeframe, the movie maker has to get the people, get the funding making the movie, edit it, sell it to movie theatres and hope it is a sucess to pay back the people who funded it !
The initial costs for making a moving (which are in the millions of dollars) are put up by one or more investors who believe in the movie's eventual success
In a similar manner to book sales, movies pass through a specific set of stages [the "distribution" channel]
Once the movie is made, it is normally first released to theaters. 99% of the money that a movie cinema earns when a movie is first released goes back to the movie company. So when you here
the weekend box office sales (99 million dollars). This money all goes back to the movie no to the cinema.
As time passes, the %age of share that the cinema makes increases, however, normally the number of people showing up to watch the movie decreases. So the cinema has to walk a careful line between making profit of the movie and boring customers who have already seen the movie and want something else [new] to watch.
This distribution chain moves on to hotels, pay per view, video (DVD), and eventually even TV. At each point less and less money goes back to the film makers themseles. [So in theory at least, when you pirate a DVD you are robbing the distribution companies more then the film-makers themselves]
When I was younger, we used to smuggle food into the cinama. Chips/popcorn and pop because the prices at the concession stand were so expensive. It used to be that cinemas would not let you take food into the cinema and would take it from you if caught. They don't seem to care as much these days.
So advertising before your movie is a way for the cinema to make extra money. Did you know those coming attactions are advertisments? These have been going on for years, and I don't really mind them. It's the ads for cars, and similar producs that tend to drive me crazy. Is the cinema industry really that much in danger that they need to run these ads?
Oh well, I don't remember the last time I went to a movie in a cinema so what am I complaining about anyay :)
After paying $10.00 for the movie, plus $15.00 for concessions, then sitting through 30 minutes of adveritsing, finally I get to watch my movie. What's up with that?
A friend of mine used to be an assistant manager fojr a local cinema. He tells me the "secret" told to staff is that "We are not in the movie business, we are in the concession business"
Making a movie is possibly one of the best examples of teamwork/quality that can ever be accomplished. All in a fairly short timeframe, the movie maker has to get the people, get the funding making the movie, edit it, sell it to movie theatres and hope it is a sucess to pay back the people who funded it !
The initial costs for making a moving (which are in the millions of dollars) are put up by one or more investors who believe in the movie's eventual success
In a similar manner to book sales, movies pass through a specific set of stages [the "distribution" channel]
Once the movie is made, it is normally first released to theaters. 99% of the money that a movie cinema earns when a movie is first released goes back to the movie company. So when you here
the weekend box office sales (99 million dollars). This money all goes back to the movie no to the cinema.
As time passes, the %age of share that the cinema makes increases, however, normally the number of people showing up to watch the movie decreases. So the cinema has to walk a careful line between making profit of the movie and boring customers who have already seen the movie and want something else [new] to watch.
This distribution chain moves on to hotels, pay per view, video (DVD), and eventually even TV. At each point less and less money goes back to the film makers themseles. [So in theory at least, when you pirate a DVD you are robbing the distribution companies more then the film-makers themselves]
When I was younger, we used to smuggle food into the cinama. Chips/popcorn and pop because the prices at the concession stand were so expensive. It used to be that cinemas would not let you take food into the cinema and would take it from you if caught. They don't seem to care as much these days.
So advertising before your movie is a way for the cinema to make extra money. Did you know those coming attactions are advertisments? These have been going on for years, and I don't really mind them. It's the ads for cars, and similar producs that tend to drive me crazy. Is the cinema industry really that much in danger that they need to run these ads?
Oh well, I don't remember the last time I went to a movie in a cinema so what am I complaining about anyay :)
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Jobs that sound cool, but at a second glance?
Ever have one of those days, where you sit down and wonder, what a day working in someone else's job might be like? It's not that I don't like my job..trust me I do, but there are just some jobs that have a certain...call it romantic?..view to them.
Building Demolisher
You get to blow up (actually implode) buldings, or maybe you just crush them with one of those big ball crushing things (too technical?). As a kid I loved taking things apart, what could be more fun right?
Of course, this actually takes a lot of training, and knowledge. You are responsible for the safety of others, for ensuring the charges are set correctly, and just before you press that button can you really be 100% sure nothing will go wrong?
Car Crusher
Somewhat similar to the buliding demolisher, you get to put the cars in the machine that crushes them into those little cube like pieces of metal. I suppose someone could be stuck in the truck, but for the most part you don't have the liability of the demolisher
Though, in the end, this might be a "one time enjoyment". I'm sure crusing the first few 10, 15, 20, 50 ? cars might be exiting and cool. But after a while, I imagine it gets a little boring. Plus I don't think this job is full-time car crushing. You probably do other things as well.
Private Investigator
A film-noir favorite. You have your stuffy little office, smoke fills the room, and in walks the pretty but desperate women. She thinks someone is trying to kill her (perhaps it's her cheating husband?), and no one else can help her..she pleades with you to take her case. You are her last resort..her hero..What can you do?
In reality, of course, very few (if any cases) are like this. Of course, you could specialize in finding out cheating husbands, but who does this really help in the end? Plus, unless you are super popular or well respected, getting clients can be very hard. The job may not be as dangerous as a secret agent, but do you really want to risk your life to earn a little dough?
Secret Agent
This one is, by far, my favorite. If I ever went dillisional, this would be my dillusion. I am a special investigator, CIA, FBI, one of those, but undercover. Trying to save the world from the hidden evils that are not made available to the public. Trusted with secret information, and ensuring that information only gets to the right people at the right time. Having special gadgets and travelling to exoctic destinations. Being a real 'super hero' in a modern world.
Most secret agents, are not really secret, and even fewer are assigned undercover duties. Although there have been some really cool espionage tools out there (See here: http://www.pbs.org/wnet/innovation/experts_qa3.html) , I've seen nowhere near the gadgets of 007.
Librarian
I love books, and I love reading, so spending my time surrounded by books and others who are interested in books, can kind of seem like a dream job. Plus with all the automation out there, returning, organizing, and classifying books, isn't all that complicated.
You do have to be a people person, and it helps if you can bring a 'perky' attitude. Plus libraries are not really paid all that well for the job they offer. Plus you also have to be a bit of a 'sales person'. Especially new people to the library, to keep them coming back, to share your love of books with others in a non-intrusive sort of way. For example, at the library where I visit each Wednesday evening, my daughter goes to the "Library Pyjama reading group". The librarian reads books, does crafts with the kids. It's great fun, but it takes a lot of work, and staying happy and perky all the time..can't be easy !
Teacher
..Just think about it, you get weekends off, more holidays then the typical worker, a break around march, and the summers off as well. Sounds like a dream job right?
Teachers are probably, one of the lowest paid professions for what they do. I have two kids, which I love to death, but sometimes they can be a handfull. If you have kids maybe you can relate. Now multiply that by 30 students in one class 5-8 hours a day. It makes me find it funny we have a phrase in our language called "Going Postal", it should be called "Going Teacher". It is amazing that more teachers don't go crazy. Don't you remember being a student? Remember what the hard time the class gives teachers..especially substitutes ?
And are you kids involved in after school activites/sports? In most most situations, teachers volenteer their time for these activites. They have to find it within themselves, after spending hours on end with your kids, to pull themselves together and help teach them other activities, such as socker, or football, or baseball. Plus, how often have you thanked your child teacher for all the work they do?.
Finally, on the "summers off". My experience is, teachers don't really get 'paid' for the summer off. What happens is, each pay, a portion is deducted, so that when the summer rolls around, that portion is distributed over that time frame. So they take even less pay for 10 months of the year so that they can be paid for the 2 months that are somewhat 'kid free'. Assuming they are not teaching summer school, or continuing after-school sports teams, etc.
So, not all jobs maybe as pretty in reality as are dreamt of in your minds. Of course, when I was a kid, a though I could be a Private Invesigator, a scienctist, and a fireman, all at the same time. :-)
Building Demolisher
You get to blow up (actually implode) buldings, or maybe you just crush them with one of those big ball crushing things (too technical?). As a kid I loved taking things apart, what could be more fun right?
Of course, this actually takes a lot of training, and knowledge. You are responsible for the safety of others, for ensuring the charges are set correctly, and just before you press that button can you really be 100% sure nothing will go wrong?
Car Crusher
Somewhat similar to the buliding demolisher, you get to put the cars in the machine that crushes them into those little cube like pieces of metal. I suppose someone could be stuck in the truck, but for the most part you don't have the liability of the demolisher
Though, in the end, this might be a "one time enjoyment". I'm sure crusing the first few 10, 15, 20, 50 ? cars might be exiting and cool. But after a while, I imagine it gets a little boring. Plus I don't think this job is full-time car crushing. You probably do other things as well.
Private Investigator
A film-noir favorite. You have your stuffy little office, smoke fills the room, and in walks the pretty but desperate women. She thinks someone is trying to kill her (perhaps it's her cheating husband?), and no one else can help her..she pleades with you to take her case. You are her last resort..her hero..What can you do?
In reality, of course, very few (if any cases) are like this. Of course, you could specialize in finding out cheating husbands, but who does this really help in the end? Plus, unless you are super popular or well respected, getting clients can be very hard. The job may not be as dangerous as a secret agent, but do you really want to risk your life to earn a little dough?
Secret Agent
This one is, by far, my favorite. If I ever went dillisional, this would be my dillusion. I am a special investigator, CIA, FBI, one of those, but undercover. Trying to save the world from the hidden evils that are not made available to the public. Trusted with secret information, and ensuring that information only gets to the right people at the right time. Having special gadgets and travelling to exoctic destinations. Being a real 'super hero' in a modern world.
Most secret agents, are not really secret, and even fewer are assigned undercover duties. Although there have been some really cool espionage tools out there (See here: http://www.pbs.org/wnet/innovation/experts_qa3.html) , I've seen nowhere near the gadgets of 007.
Librarian
I love books, and I love reading, so spending my time surrounded by books and others who are interested in books, can kind of seem like a dream job. Plus with all the automation out there, returning, organizing, and classifying books, isn't all that complicated.
You do have to be a people person, and it helps if you can bring a 'perky' attitude. Plus libraries are not really paid all that well for the job they offer. Plus you also have to be a bit of a 'sales person'. Especially new people to the library, to keep them coming back, to share your love of books with others in a non-intrusive sort of way. For example, at the library where I visit each Wednesday evening, my daughter goes to the "Library Pyjama reading group". The librarian reads books, does crafts with the kids. It's great fun, but it takes a lot of work, and staying happy and perky all the time..can't be easy !
Teacher
..Just think about it, you get weekends off, more holidays then the typical worker, a break around march, and the summers off as well. Sounds like a dream job right?
Teachers are probably, one of the lowest paid professions for what they do. I have two kids, which I love to death, but sometimes they can be a handfull. If you have kids maybe you can relate. Now multiply that by 30 students in one class 5-8 hours a day. It makes me find it funny we have a phrase in our language called "Going Postal", it should be called "Going Teacher". It is amazing that more teachers don't go crazy. Don't you remember being a student? Remember what the hard time the class gives teachers..especially substitutes ?
And are you kids involved in after school activites/sports? In most most situations, teachers volenteer their time for these activites. They have to find it within themselves, after spending hours on end with your kids, to pull themselves together and help teach them other activities, such as socker, or football, or baseball. Plus, how often have you thanked your child teacher for all the work they do?.
Finally, on the "summers off". My experience is, teachers don't really get 'paid' for the summer off. What happens is, each pay, a portion is deducted, so that when the summer rolls around, that portion is distributed over that time frame. So they take even less pay for 10 months of the year so that they can be paid for the 2 months that are somewhat 'kid free'. Assuming they are not teaching summer school, or continuing after-school sports teams, etc.
So, not all jobs maybe as pretty in reality as are dreamt of in your minds. Of course, when I was a kid, a though I could be a Private Invesigator, a scienctist, and a fireman, all at the same time. :-)
Monday, May 26, 2008
I gotta be me !
Live life being the person you are, not the person you think you should be !
You don't have to be funny, smart, good natured, intelligent, good looking, a rock star, and you certainly don't have to try to be something you are not.
Take this moement to think about who you are (yeah this moment right NOW, your obviously not doing anything else important )
If you find yourself constantly trying to change to be "better", TELL, yourself, "there's nothing wrong with me I'm great !"
Self Improvement is fine... if your a serial killer and your trying to kick the habit, or maybe you want to give up smoking or drugs. But please don't loose the things that make you who you are
Always take the time to re-connect with yourself, your values, your hidden qualities, shout them out or write them in your diary.
And finally remember...no one on their death bed sighs and says "I wish I had spent more time at the office"
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Funny Out-Of-Office E-Mail Auto-Reply
Out of Office auto-replies can be great when you are on vacation, and you want to let others know you won't be checking your email.
Here 10 great Out of Office autoreplies you should consider the next time you are heading out on vacation (If you have the guts that is)
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
Here 10 great Out of Office autoreplies you should consider the next time you are heading out on vacation (If you have the guts that is)
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
The Five Stages Of Windows Acceptance
From the OSNN Forums. Are you still running one of the M$ OS. Now with Vista and all it's problems, will you upgrade? If you haven't you probably will, the link below will take you through each of the grief stages you will pass through to get to the next "Great" update
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Artificial Intelligence Thoughts
Algorithms cannot create intelligence. Programming algorthims is analogus to building "instinct" but humans have evolved out of instinct into somethimg more, so when we try to create AI algorithms we get in a loop because we are trying to create intelligent instinct which is nothing but an oxymoron.
A more abstract approach is needed, one that starts with emotions/instinct and builds on it.
A more abstract approach is needed, one that starts with emotions/instinct and builds on it.
Intelligence requires "emotion" on inputs, and unlike non living things, living things constantly strive away from equlibrium whlist feeling anxious if taking from equlibrium "against will"??? Controlled change driven by individual is +ive, uncontrolled changed driving my environment is -ive? maybe
Ideas to simulate intelligence
a) Simulate a Cause/Effect system/network. All inputs are scanned constantly and compared and crossreferenced. The network continues to breakdown inputs in fixed time sequences and make guesses as to what Input A -> Input/Output B. (ie: If I observe that B happens many times after I observe A, I can define a relationship between A & B
b) For each input generate a weight (-ive /ngt) based on individual "view" of the input (eg: heuristic ALL CAPS wieigh more -ive for keyboard input, STRONG text could be -ive or +ive/)
c) Create a natural "drive system". Implement an input system that generatives +ive and -ive. Entity will seek (ie: create outputs) in a drive to constantly remove itself from equilibrium. Weither by generating +ive (favorable) or -ive inputs
d) Implement Pablo's dog system. if A -> B and A -> B - > C eventually A -> C. Food causes salavation reflex, ring bell each time food is shown, eventuall bell causes salavation (expectation of food)
An example is to connect battery power levels as example/analogy to food, and "charging" status as being fed
class event
level: (int +ive or -ive) strength of event
name: (undefined) seek to find what to call events?
group of events (function the same as events)
EVENT (or group of ) -> causes -> EVENT (or group of)
Make guess on EVENT based in prior events
-------------------------Inputs can't be too exact. (ie: 2 spoken words "hello") need very similar input strings to assume it's the same word. If not, system would have to relearn word for every person who spoke it. Ironically a video input would need to be able to distiguige more detail then an audio input?
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Purpose Plans and Passion
"A plan is a tool that we use to fulfill a purpose, and passion is the fuel that keeps us going."Purpose, what are we meant to do? Why are were here?. People have spent their entire lives trying to answer this question, trying to live their lives. One of the fundemental principles is the idea of a plan. If we don't know where we are going, if we don't have a goal, if we have not set a plan. How we will know when we get there? How will we know if we reached our purpose?
I am a big planner, one might say I tend to plan "too much". But I often find myself stuggling to finish things which I have started. Sometimes I will have bursts of inspiration. An idea just shouting at me to be worked on. An idea that takes away from everything else I am doing, demanding itself to be completed. I become very passionite about this idea. Perhaps it is completed a video game level, learning a new parenting skill, writing a blog entry, or designing a new software program. (One of the latest is selling stuff on ebay)
The problem is this short term burst of inspiration/passion, once completed, leaves my life back in disarray, and it is hard to re-evaulate and 'get back to' the plan.
My Epiphany - Passion is a tool. It is something we can use to keep ourselves motivated on the 'less exciting' tasks of our lives. Left on its own, passion will come in and out on a whim. But it is actually a key ingredient in the planning process. We set a vision of where we would like to be, generate more and more interest in this vision. This starts our mind and soul working together to fulfill the vision, and we build the passion to keep it going.
The "trick", which I have yet to master, is to learn to use our imagination and creativity in the visioning process, to generate the passion if and when we needed it, at the specific time and place where we want it.
Show Links:
Inspiration and Passion by Dr Wayne Dyer
The Duality of Passion
Maurice Turmel Passion and Purpose
Finding your Passion - Coffee with Deb
The Power of Intention
Passion and Purpose: How to Identify and Leverage the Powerful Patterns That Shape Your Work/Life
Monday, April 21, 2008
Can the state force your marital status?
One of the debates, I often find myself involved in is the idea of "Common Law" Marriage.
First of all, let me clear up the first misconception. Being 'common law' and being 'married' are not the same thing from a legal point of view.
There are similarities. In Canada, many couples who have declared themselves as common law are guaranteed similar rights and privileges under the law as married couples. Although specific local laws can vary. The basic premise is the same. If you're in a loving committed relationship with another individual, live in the same household, you should get the same rights as those who sign a piece of paper and pay for a 'marriage license'.
The main legal separation is that marriage is a legal contract is entered between individuals. In a common law relationship there is no legal paperwork to be completed or signed, any "contract" is purely verbal. Now, verbal contracts to have power under the law, but are not as cut as dry as paper contracts.
Now, the thing I find myself passionately arguing about is a phraseology that will me found in many government documents, such as tax applications, and applying for government assistance and/or Childs Tax credit.
These documents define the necessary conditions required to be guaranteed the same/similar rights and protections as a married couple. The fact that you meet these conditions is not sufficient to define your status as common law.
Let's state this again for clarity:
Q is necessary for P : If you want to be a considered common law couple you must meet the conditions required under law
Q is not sufficient for P: The fact that you meet the conditions under law, does not require you to be a common law couple.
There is one key missing condition in the definition given by the government of Canada to truly create a necesary and sufficient relationship
Both individuals of the couple, must agree to be within a common law relationshipThis agreement can be shown to be true, once both individuals have declared themselves to be living as common law. For example, perhaps they both refer to each other as husband and wife amongst themselves, family and friends.
It does not matter to whom they have made this declaration. -> Once the necessary conditions exist, only the declaration remains. So for example if you declare it on your tax form, you are common law, if you declare it on your childs tax credit application you are common law. If you declare it to you mom you are common law...Period. If you declare it in one place, and meet the necessary conditions, you are common law. So, if you and your partner declare it to your parents, you meet the legal requirements, and then you do not delcare it on your income tax, you would be committing fraud.
Of course, after declaring it to your parents, the relationship might devolve, in which case you can revoke your declaration (or you just stop living together), and the common law ends. (ie: There is NO SUCH THING as 'common law' divorce).
So why is this even worth ranting about, I am a happily married guy, but I rant on to try and help avoid mis-conceptions that exist. I am tired of hearing people telling others they are common law. No one can declare you to be common law. You are responsible for making that declaration to others.
In conclusion, you get specific rights, and benefits once you declare yourself as common law. It is not about trying to find a loop hole in our social benefits system. Some people try to do this. The idea is instead of getting "married" you just have a "commitment ceremony". This way [they think] the government cannot combine their income and reduce the social benefits they are currently receiving. Of course, as I have just said, this would still constitute fraud because the couple has declared their relationship status to a large group (via the commitment ceremony), so once they meet the remaining legal conditions, they are common law, and therefore have the rights, benefits, and responsibilities as in a married (or common law) relationship.
So, I defend the rights of others to defend their rights not to have any label placed upon them that they didn't agree to. But if you did agree to it, you will reap the benefits, and at the end of the day the only costs you might save, is the bill for the marriage license itself [and I suppose a wedding and stuff, depending on how frugal you are].
Add audio protion
Understanding Necessary versus Sufficient Conditions
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Bulding a better mouse trap
It is easy to try and buld a better system. Contrary to popular belief, it does not take a lot of intelligence to look at a process, point out it's flaws and develop a "new system" that you believe will solve all the problems.
It is then VERY EASY, for someone to look at your system and point out it's flaws, to tell you why it won't work and develop an even better way.
Now, perhaps you are reading a story, someone's suggestions for improvment and you find youself agreeing with everything you are reading. Furthermore, perhaps it drives a passion in you, to share the information with others. To push for a better system, to send letters to your congressman, etc.
Or perhaps, you have come up with a better system youself. Perhaps you are tired of the ways things are currently working, and you are trying to find a better way.
Let me first say I commend you for your idea, whatever it is, I admire you for your passion. Any system, or process always has rooom for improvement, and hindsight is always 20/20 right?
But one word of caution, there is no 'perfect' system. No matter how many times you go over it in your head, no matter how much you've convinced yourself and others around you, that your system is far better then what exists currenly..take a minute and put yourself in the shoes of those that came before you. Rest assured, the existing system was put in place by some group of individuals that felt like you. They felt they came up with the best system possible, and if your system is approved, rest assured, it will be subject to the same scruntity in the future.
So I'm not suggesting don't try to buld a better mousetrap, I'm simply suggesting to consider that people worked hard to put the existing system in place, and yes, they probably made some mistakes, as we all do.
It may be impossible to come up with idea that everyone will agree with, but if you can design, implement and/or fix something that works better for the majority...now that takes intelligence !
It is then VERY EASY, for someone to look at your system and point out it's flaws, to tell you why it won't work and develop an even better way.
Now, perhaps you are reading a story, someone's suggestions for improvment and you find youself agreeing with everything you are reading. Furthermore, perhaps it drives a passion in you, to share the information with others. To push for a better system, to send letters to your congressman, etc.
Or perhaps, you have come up with a better system youself. Perhaps you are tired of the ways things are currently working, and you are trying to find a better way.
Let me first say I commend you for your idea, whatever it is, I admire you for your passion. Any system, or process always has rooom for improvement, and hindsight is always 20/20 right?
But one word of caution, there is no 'perfect' system. No matter how many times you go over it in your head, no matter how much you've convinced yourself and others around you, that your system is far better then what exists currenly..take a minute and put yourself in the shoes of those that came before you. Rest assured, the existing system was put in place by some group of individuals that felt like you. They felt they came up with the best system possible, and if your system is approved, rest assured, it will be subject to the same scruntity in the future.
So I'm not suggesting don't try to buld a better mousetrap, I'm simply suggesting to consider that people worked hard to put the existing system in place, and yes, they probably made some mistakes, as we all do.
It may be impossible to come up with idea that everyone will agree with, but if you can design, implement and/or fix something that works better for the majority...now that takes intelligence !
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
[Editos Notee: Here is one of my favorite articles about spelling. It was orginally credited to Mark Twain, but there is some debate that it should be attributed to M.J. Yilz] ... For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld. ... The link below is to a more serious document from Mark Twain regarding the simplificaiton of our alpha bet
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Science...it's not real..it's all just faith
Often we believe (falsely, I might add) that there are 2 camps of people. Those who believe in 'science' and those who believe in 'faith'. Of course you could be a "mix of the 2" believing in science when it makes sense to you and faith for things like God, and heaven and such stuff.
Regardless of what camp you fall in, please understand that its all faith, nothing more and nothing less. You can take any "scientific" principle and if you examine it and break it down, you always get to the bottom statement.
Regardless of what camp you fall in, please understand that its all faith, nothing more and nothing less. You can take any "scientific" principle and if you examine it and break it down, you always get to the bottom statement.
I believe "cause and effect" (causality) exists in our universe.Now I'm not saying not to belief in cause and effect. Life becomes really, really complicated to abandon the belief in cause an effect. Simply:
It is reasonable to assume 'X" is true, if we find that when not beliving "X" leads us to question all of our other existing beliefs.Not believing in causality could potentially break every scientific proof you believe to be true. My favorite analogy is the "Pyramid of Knowledge"
Imagine that all your beliefs, "truths", form a pyramid in your mind
If someone questions a belief you have in one of the top of items, it's no big deal you can fairly easily abandon it as needed. But if someone tries to remove one of the bottom pieces..now you have a BIG problem. Because if you stop beliving in one of the bottom items, your risk your whole pyramid falling apart.Whether your are a so-callled "religious fanatic" or a "die hard scientist", no matter how open-minded you say you are, you don't want people to touch the items on your bottom pyramid. You will be very passionite about holding on to these items, possibly even defending them to the death.
It could of course be argued, that the pyramid bulit by "religion" may be easier to break then one built by the "scientist". However, there are some pretty strong religious beliefs, so have fun, it's a nice adventure.
Where 2 competing explanations exist for a theory, the simplist is the best
In general, Science tends to take a logical procedural flow from one belief to the next, each time buliding more and more rational confidence that a statement is true. Leaps of faith and jumps in logic do not apply in Science (supposidly).
For a great example of this idea, check out the Star Trek Voyager epispode Sacret Ground ]
Monday, March 31, 2008
Pranks to get even
Do you want to play a Light Hearted, Nasty or Gross Prank on a
friend or foe that you need to "EVEN THE SCORE" ?
If the answer is YES, read on
Below are some sample listing of great practical jokes
DISCLAIMER: I cannot take responsibility for any
actions taken as described in this text. Some of
these schemes may be illegal to perform and most of
them will make your victim suffer in some way or
another. Others are just plain gross, disgusting, yuck.
I advise you to look at this text as a source
for reading enjoyment only. If you do consider an action,
also consider it's consequence, both for the victim and
for yourself !
OK. Let's have some fun..
friend or foe that you need to "EVEN THE SCORE" ?
If the answer is YES, read on
Below are some sample listing of great practical jokes
DISCLAIMER: I cannot take responsibility for any
actions taken as described in this text. Some of
these schemes may be illegal to perform and most of
them will make your victim suffer in some way or
another. Others are just plain gross, disgusting, yuck.
I advise you to look at this text as a source
for reading enjoyment only. If you do consider an action,
also consider it's consequence, both for the victim and
for yourself !
OK. Let's have some fun..
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Dogs and their owners
For those who haven't heard the news. Yes I did it. We bought a dog. She is a cute 5mo old parsons russell. So the pet count now is 2 cats and 1 dog. A regular zoo at our household. They say dogs look like their owners. I'm not so sure, but here's a funny dog joke anyway that I hope you enjoy !
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Take this reading comprension test
Do you remember back in school, having to take those IQ tests? Perhaps you're still taking them :-) Many years ago, I came across this very interesting Reading Comprehension Test down at my uncles. I'm not exactly sure who it came from orginally, and I've been meaning to make a web version of the test for some time. Well, I've done it, when you click the link below you will only have 4 MINUTES to complete it. This is a fun test will give you feedback on your reading skills. So give it a try and let me know how you do. Your score is not made public, the test is anonymous. It's just for fun. If you like it, feel free to forward it on to a friend. Enjoy !
Friday, March 14, 2008
I can read your mind
I just love these types of mind reading videos. Do you read the daily horoscopes? Do you find yours to be quite accurate, does this proove there really are psychics out there? Here's a cool video mind reading test. You might want a pencil and piece of paper. When you play the video you will be presented with a series of statements about yourself. Put an check for every statement that is true about you, and an X for every one that is false. Then ask youself, how well did this video read your mind? If you are impressed, pass this video on the a few of your friends and see how they score. Then you will know the true secret of horoscopes in the newspaper. Have fun !
Monday, March 10, 2008
Sean Paul Misheard Lyrics - CollegeHumor video
Very funny! Just goes to show how music lyrics can be "interpreted" in many different ways!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Tired of shoveling the snow this winter?
We've been having a lot of snow here in Fredericton lately and all the shoveling can be very overwhelming. Does this happen to you? Sick and Tired of winter where you live? If so just print this and post it somewhere near you to look at when winter depresses you. Now remember, whatever it's like outside. It could always be worse ! You could have to be the guy responsible for shoveling in this picture Read More... http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/717
Monday, February 11, 2008
A letter from XYZ to the Microsoft
When I first came across this article, it immedialty reminded me of Dad. He was just getting into sending emails and he asked some humorous questions. I don't remember them all, but i remember one of them was How come there are no capitol numbers ?????? He was also telling me how he was going to start his own dictionary, because none of the words he wanted to use were ever in it :-)
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
500 Mostly Useless Facts
From djtech.net: Here is a colleciton of 500 useless facts. Perhaps somewhat usefull if you are going on a trivia show or something. If you can make it all the way to the bottom, you may have too much time on your hands !
Monday, January 28, 2008
What is it?
If it's there and you can see it - it's real.
My Reality Check - 110/365
Originally uploaded by Simon - Pathfinder of The W.W Tribe!
If it's not there and you can see it - it's virtual.
If it's there and you can't see it - it's transparent.
If it's not there and you can't see it - you erased it!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Top 12 Random Website Bordom List
Does this happen to you?
You have a few free minutes so you decide to sit down on your computer, you open your web browser and think to yourself...okay now what do I want to do?..Okay I'm bored !
Many people have "solved" this bordem by using 'randomizers'. These are things like the StumbleUpon random button which takes you to a funny video, or article, something you might find interesting.
Here's a list of random links, that you may want to add to your collection. Drop them to your bookmarks or link bar, or maybe even make them your start page page. Either way whenever visited, They open a random site.
Warning: Since these are random sites, there is the possibilty they may open "non kidsafe", and/or "non worksafe" items. Be carefull, you've been warned.
You have a few free minutes so you decide to sit down on your computer, you open your web browser and think to yourself...okay now what do I want to do?..Okay I'm bored !
Many people have "solved" this bordem by using 'randomizers'. These are things like the StumbleUpon random button which takes you to a funny video, or article, something you might find interesting.
Here's a list of random links, that you may want to add to your collection. Drop them to your bookmarks or link bar, or maybe even make them your start page page. Either way whenever visited, They open a random site.
Warning: Since these are random sites, there is the possibilty they may open "non kidsafe", and/or "non worksafe" items. Be carefull, you've been warned.
1) Random Article -> Read a random Article Swapped Blog entry
2) Craig's Random Website-> Strange and wierd randomness from this site.
3) Random Wiki -> Read a Random Wiki page
4) Mangle -> Cool website (uses frames) that uses google to show a random webpage
5) Start Page Randomizer -> Meant to be added as your start up (Home) Page.
6) Random AT&T homepage -> . Sometimes interesting, usually very basic webpages from newbies)
7) Random Google Video -> Maybe not soo random though ?
8) Open Directory (DMOZ) -> Random Site visit. (Bet you'll get a business with it !)
9) Random Yahoo Link -> Hmm..This one gives you mostly business's too?. A bit boring
10) Random Blogger -> Read a random blog that is using the blogspot navbar
11) Random Poem -> Random poem generator, make a random love poem
12) Del.iciou.us Randomizer -> Read a random item bookmarked on del.icio.us
and Viola !, now when you're feeling bored. Click on one of the above link and Happy Surfing !
Got StumbleUpon? Add me to your friends jpruss.stumbleupon.com
Please help bulid this list, by adding your own fun random pages in the comments !
2) Craig's Random Website-> Strange and wierd randomness from this site.
3) Random Wiki -> Read a Random Wiki page
4) Mangle -> Cool website (uses frames) that uses google to show a random webpage
5) Start Page Randomizer -> Meant to be added as your start up (Home) Page.
6) Random AT&T homepage -> . Sometimes interesting, usually very basic webpages from newbies)
7) Random Google Video -> Maybe not soo random though ?
8) Open Directory (DMOZ) -> Random Site visit. (Bet you'll get a business with it !)
9) Random Yahoo Link -> Hmm..This one gives you mostly business's too?. A bit boring
10) Random Blogger -> Read a random blog that is using the blogspot navbar
11) Random Poem -> Random poem generator, make a random love poem
12) Del.iciou.us Randomizer -> Read a random item bookmarked on del.icio.us
and Viola !, now when you're feeling bored. Click on one of the above link and Happy Surfing !
Got StumbleUpon? Add me to your friends jpruss.stumbleupon.com
Please help bulid this list, by adding your own fun random pages in the comments !
Death by Caffeine
There has long been a debate about which has more caffeine, Tea? Coffee? Here's an entertaining site that will tell you how much of a particular drink you'd have to consume before it kills you. Read More... http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/693
Friday, January 11, 2008
33 Funny Exam Answers
2) Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
4. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
5. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
6. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
7. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”
8. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
9. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
10. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
11. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.
12. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
13. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”
14. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
15. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”
16. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.
17. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.
18. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention
was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
19. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn’t have any children.
20. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is In the East and the sun sets in the West.
21. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
22. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of river to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.
23. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
24. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.
25. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
26. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present
. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.
27. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
28. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn’t have any children.
29. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
30. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
31.
was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.
15 Lessons I learned from TV
1) If Captain Kirk invites you on an away mission, don't wear your red uniform
2) It is not important to learn people's names, you just need to know what they do and add Mr or Ms to it (Mr Conductor, Mr Mailman, Ms Librarian, etc)
3) Dogs can talk and communicate with people, though most people do not seem to pay attention or have the ability to "hear" them. This may apply to other animals as well
4) If the only person who looks you in the eye and talks to you is psychic, you might be dead
5) If you hear creepy music in the background (especially if you are alone), your probably going to die soon
6) If you find yourself playing doctor in an emergency room, and an emergency comes in the door. Don't panic ! The solution to any problem is order a CT scan, chem7 and CBC, unless they have no insurance in which case you send them to another hospital hundreds of mile away.
7) Suspects, if brought into a small police room and when confronted with only circumstantial evidence under a bright light will almost always confess to the crime. (especially near the end of the show)
8) Corollary: If a suspect confesses to early in the show, he/she really didn't do it.
9) When time travelling to save the world, you will soon come to learn that saving the world would never had been necessary if you never time travelled in the first place.
10) All computers are connected together all the time, even when turned off. and any password on any computer anywhere (including secret FBI, CIA, etc) can be discovered within 3 password attempts
11) Don't order a TAXI when you go into labor, you will never make it to the hospital
12) If the "bad guy" catches you. No worries ! Instead of killing you on the spot, he/she will first reveal his entire plan fore world domination and then leave you alone in a room with some really complicated setup to kill you. This will give you will have plenty of time to escape and thwart his evil plans.
13) You know you are on the 'good side', if you can run away at point blank range whilst being shot at by dozens of other people, and not get hit once.
14) If you want to throw food at someone, you will always miss who you intended and hit someone else, the person throwing back will miss you ending up in a big food fight involving everyone within a 50ft radius
15) You never need to go to the bathroom, and if you do go into one, it will never turn out good.
Please feel free to add more in the comments, and pass it on !
2) It is not important to learn people's names, you just need to know what they do and add Mr or Ms to it (Mr Conductor, Mr Mailman, Ms Librarian, etc)
3) Dogs can talk and communicate with people, though most people do not seem to pay attention or have the ability to "hear" them. This may apply to other animals as well
4) If the only person who looks you in the eye and talks to you is psychic, you might be dead
5) If you hear creepy music in the background (especially if you are alone), your probably going to die soon
6) If you find yourself playing doctor in an emergency room, and an emergency comes in the door. Don't panic ! The solution to any problem is order a CT scan, chem7 and CBC, unless they have no insurance in which case you send them to another hospital hundreds of mile away.
7) Suspects, if brought into a small police room and when confronted with only circumstantial evidence under a bright light will almost always confess to the crime. (especially near the end of the show)
8) Corollary: If a suspect confesses to early in the show, he/she really didn't do it.
9) When time travelling to save the world, you will soon come to learn that saving the world would never had been necessary if you never time travelled in the first place.
10) All computers are connected together all the time, even when turned off. and any password on any computer anywhere (including secret FBI, CIA, etc) can be discovered within 3 password attempts
11) Don't order a TAXI when you go into labor, you will never make it to the hospital
12) If the "bad guy" catches you. No worries ! Instead of killing you on the spot, he/she will first reveal his entire plan fore world domination and then leave you alone in a room with some really complicated setup to kill you. This will give you will have plenty of time to escape and thwart his evil plans.
13) You know you are on the 'good side', if you can run away at point blank range whilst being shot at by dozens of other people, and not get hit once.
14) If you want to throw food at someone, you will always miss who you intended and hit someone else, the person throwing back will miss you ending up in a big food fight involving everyone within a 50ft radius
15) You never need to go to the bathroom, and if you do go into one, it will never turn out good.
Please feel free to add more in the comments, and pass it on !
Friday, January 4, 2008
Funny Flowcharts
LOL. I have a flowchart like this first one on a T-Shirt. It is all worn out now. I'm big on flowcharts, so I'd thought I'd share these funny ones with others. Hope you enjoy them as well. Never take life too seriously ! Read More... http://www.bwebcentral.com/blog/2/676
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